Ielts task 2

Question

Topic: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

 

 People have different views about young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. I think it is not only advantages but also disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. 

       There are several reasons why young people take a gap year is disadvantages. Teenagers miss 12 months for working or traveling, the graduated process of them is slower than that of their friends. People who graduated earlier will have more job opportunities than them. Moreover, teenagers will love them journey and no longer want to go back to school and learning skills may be reduced. Young people will be disappointed to return because they realize that their experience is not as good as expected. 

        On the other hand, there are undoubtedly advantages for taking a year off. Firstly, teenagers could be expand knowledge which they aren’t studied at school. Secondly, working help them understand life, they can earn money, expand the relationships and develop soft-skills. They would have more time to choose appropriate job. In addition, traveling makes them realize what they actually want to do. 

        Overall, it is apparent that although there are some disadvantages of encouraging young people to work or travel, the advantages are outweighed. Young people should have experience before starting university studies. 

 

Answer 1

Đoạn đầu bạn phải paraphrase nhé, sử dụng các từ ngữ khác thay thế. Không nên lấy y nguyên đề bài xuống vì điểm sẽ thấp.

Bạn bị lỗi lặp từ "them" và "they". Bạn cũng nên sử dụng nhiều từ thay thế cho young people. Có một số lỗi grammar nữa nhé.