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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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On a daily basis, it is not unusual to meet unfair or unfortunate situations that prolonged to become a crucial part of living, such as a full-time job of wanting to leave or the drain of money on the wallet. Nobody, including me, lacks embarrassing moments that lead us to the point of no hope. There are two types of people when facing such problems, as I set a nickname for, is: a fighter, and a runner. 

Let's talk about the benefits of the runner, who avoids facing, and the worst one, believes that the situations happened to them as a result of destiny. This trait provides them a safe home where they will not waste their time arguing with their bosses about compensation problems, and on a more positive aspect, they might not receive any hatred around. What a peaceful life! 

Unlike the runners, the 'fighter' one is sometimes seen as a fool. They force themselves out of the safe-zone as well as try to handle the  problems. To look at the point of any educator, this fighter is actually a genius. Their growth mindset trains them to deal better with the flaws instead of having a higher level of tolerance. According to a research conducted by Harvard University, 92% of managers possess this personality, a significant studying productivity is also witnessed among 356 surveyed college students, which proves the advantage of having such an open mind.

In conclusion, as a growth, we can also take advantage of improving daily situations so that we can gradually mature from such experiences by facing and solving them. To accept it can give you a comfort zone, but to go beyond the barrier can really fill yourself with a sense of triumph. 


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Số liệu là lúc làm mình tự bịa ra thêm vào thôi đừng để ý quá ạ! Cảm ơn mọi người nhiều ạ!

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On a daily basis, it is not unusual to meet unfair or unfortunate situations that prolonged -> prolong to become a crucial part of living, such as a full-time job of wanting-> longing to leave or the drain of money on the wallet. Nobody, including me, lacks embarrassing moments that lead us to the point of no hope. There are two types of people when facing such problems, as I set a nickname for, is: a fighter, and a runner. 

Let's talk about the benefits of the runner, who avoids facing, and the worst one, believes that the situations happened to them as a result of destiny. This trait provides them a safe home -> a safe place where they will not waste their time arguing with their bosses about compensation problems, and on a more positive aspect, they might not receive any hatred around. What a peaceful life! 

Unlike the runners, the 'fighter' one is sometimes seen as a fool. They force themselves out of the safe-zone as well as try to handle the  problems. To look at the point of any educator-> educators, this fighter is actually a genius. Their growth mindset trains them to deal better with the flaws instead of having a higher level of tolerance. According to a research conducted by Harvard University, 92% of managers possess this personality, a significant studying productivity is also witnessed among 356 surveyed college students, which proves the advantage of having such an open mind.

In conclusion, as a growth, we can also take advantage of improving daily situations so that we can gradually mature from such experiences by facing and solving them. To accept it can give you a comfort zone, but to go beyond the barrier can really fill yourself with a sense of triumph. 

Nhận xét của mình:

- Bạn đã mắc phải hai lỗi cực kì cơ bản

1. Dùng cấu trúc câu mệnh lệnh " Let's..."

2. Dùng câu cảm thán

- đề bài có yêu cầu express your opinion-> bạn nên bày tỏ quan điểm của mình ngay từ phía mở bài. Btw, mình thấy mở bài của bạn khá dài mà không tóm được ý lắm

- Mình đọc có một số câu nó không được rõ ý cho lắm. Ex: ....who avoids facing....??? facing what?

 

 

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Mình không sửa gì nhiều nhưng muốn có một góp ý nho nhỏ, đó là nếu bạn không biết số liệu thì không cần đưa phần trăm vào, mà chỉ cần most of/ a little/... Ngoài ra, nếu đã đưa số liệu thì bạn cần có cơ sở. Tiếp theo, mình thấy bài này nó khá là spoken nên cần chỉnh lại cho nó formal hơn tí, sẽ ổn hơn.
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