I quite like your writing style, especially you have good vocabulary. However, there are several placed that i think you should make the sentences shorter and more simple to easy understand. I rewrote your essay just for referrence, it may be not precisely but hope it helps.
Recent years have witnessed a dramatic increase in the availability of fast food. I admit that this kind of food has brought people convenience in some cases; however, in my opinion, I believe that its drawbacks far outweigh the benefits.
It is true that fast food has become a great vogue by most people over the globe, from the poor to the rich, from the developing countries to the developed ones. It will not be surprised if you see an office staff trying to make use of his time having his breakfast with hamburgers done while walking hastily to his office in time. You might accidentally run into the children or the elderly leisurely eating pizza and drinking coke in any restaurant. It is obviously that fast food is becoming an universal trend, which is weaving into people’s social daily life no matter how old they are and what their life styles are.
Despite its convenience and affordable price, it is proved that consuming fast food with large quantity and high frequency brings people more harm than benefit. The most serious danger to consumers, caused by fast food, is health problems. Junk foods such as fried chicken, hamburgers and chips contain incredibly high in fat and salt, which are the chief culprits of such ailments as hypertension (high bood pressure), obesity, and cardiology-related diseases. Furthermore, for the purpose of profit, most of the fast food manufacturers has attempted to reduce the cost of production by ovelooking/bypassing the sterilization process (disinfection process), leading to a mass of products under the Food Safety Standards. As a result, consumers could face/suffer tremendous impact from the food poisoning, diarrhoea, and digestion-related problems. Thus, people need to aware of what kind of food they are taking in so as to avoid bad effect from fastfood.
In the second place, the oblivion of traditional cuisines which are imbued with each country’s own identity is an another apparent consequence. The reason for that is a majority of modern mothers, instead of cooking for their children conventional dishes, frequently take them to restaurants with convenient foods like spaghetti, hot dog, and so forth because of saving time or other reasons. Meanwhile, these restaurants have launched a lot of advertising campaigns and promotions like holding children’s birthday parties free to attract and stimulate them to utilise available foods. Hence, these children gradually shape their habits of eating fast food and become unfamiliar or dislike the traditional cuisines.
With the widespread and popularity of fastfood in the world, we can not change people's bad eating habit right away; however, what we can do to protect and maintain our good health is to control our food intake, eat properly and add more healthy food such as fruit and vegetable to our meals. Otherwise, the gastronomy of each nation would be fade away or lose its integrity and people will have to suffer from serious diseases.
P/s: feel free to comment mine:)