Animal testing

Question

Các bạn ơi,  mình là thành viên mới hy vọng nhận được sự giúp đỡ cuả các bạn. Đề tài mình viết đây khá cũ nhưng mình vẫn cảm thấy rất khó để diễn đạt trôi chảy và logic. Các bạn có thể cho mình lời khuyên về bài mình đã viết và đánh giá sơ bộ  về band để mình cố gắng thêm nhé. Cám ơn các bạn.

 Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The revolutionary biomedical development as well as overpopulation has brought an ever expecting century that a wide array of disease has spread out globally. That leads to a contentious topic about the necessary of conducting animal testing with some strong support. However, I think minimizing these experiments is possible and essential to diminish their disadvantages.

Some people might think that testing medicine on animal or safety of product is beneficial to humanity. First of all, researchers need a clinical illustration for initial tries so they can check the credibility of product or medicine quality. Animals, especially mammals such as mice, monkeys, therefore, are utilized because their reactions are almost likely to humans. Furthermore, some particular species have been used as a very helpful tool to produce cosmetic and powerful remedies.

Although it seems very lucrative for humanity, its drawback has outweighed the avails. The most important thing is that other species are biologically different from human. Thus, no result can approach one hundred percent success before being applied for human bodies while some living organisms are raised only for experiment which requires lots of money. Instead, artificial modules nowadays are made to replace with this and save a great amount of investment every year. In addition, making animal suffer pain and danger is morally wrong and can cause the lack of ecosystem balance.

To conclude, tracking treatment for human healthcare development is crucial, but trying new chemical substances on other creatures is not the best solution. As far as I concerned, scientists will have been able to find out the alternative method that can supersede completely of taking risk on animal in the near future.

Word count: 275

Answer 1

Good morning  Anh, I think your essay is fine in terms of grammars and vocabularies. however, there are some points I suggest changing as follow:

1. The second paragraph you said : their reaction are almost likely as humans. I agree that is true, however, the reactions are the same as human because animals and humans are somehow biologically the same. Therefore, it will contrast with your sentence in the 3rf paragraph: "biologically different", humans are just more advanced than animals, not totally different.

2. If you had already mentioned the "same reactions" in the 2nd paragraph, in the 3rd paragraph, just mention the high-cost of animals testing and the moral issues such as: "more than.....animals are claimed to be dead due to experiments..." 

More source: http://animal-testing.procon.org/

Regards,

Duong NGUYEN.

Answer 2

Chào bạn,

Nhìn chung bài viết của bạn khá tốt. Tuy nhiên, vẫn còn một số lỗi bạn nên luu ý như số ít số nhiều của danh từ và động từ. Ngoài ra, bạn cũng nên luu ý cách dùng article :the, a, an cho hợp lý nhe.

Chúc bạn thành công!

Nguyễn Tính

 

The revolutionary biomedical development as well as overpopulation has have brought an ever expecting century that a wide array of diseases have spread out globally. That leads to a contentious topic about the  a necessary of conducting animal testing with some strong supports. However, I think minimizing these experiments is possible and essential to diminish their disadvantages.

Some people might think that testing medicine on animal or safety of product is beneficial to humanity. First of all, researchers need a clinical illustration for initial tries so they can check the credibility of product or medicine quality. Animals, especially mammals such as mice, monkeys, therefore, are utilized because their reactions are almost likely to humans. Furthermore, some particular species have been used as a very helpful tool  (sources) to produce cosmetic and powerful remedies.

Although it seems very lucrative for humanity, its drawback has outweighed the avails. The most important thing is that other species are biologically different from human. Thus, no result can approach one hundred percent success before being applied for human bodies while some living organisms are raised only for experiments which require lots of money. Instead, artificial modules, nowadays, are made to replace with this and save a great amount of investment every year. In addition, making animal suffer pain and danger is morally wrong and can cause the lack of ecosystem imbalance.

To conclude, tracking treatment for human healthcare development is crucial, but trying new chemical substances on other creatures is not  (does not seem to be) the best solution. As far as I concerned, scientists will have been able to find out the alternative methods that can supersede completely of taking risk on animal in the near future.