#HELPMEPLEASE - IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - LANGUAGES

Question

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

These days, some languages are gradually prone to extinction due to the minor number of people speaking them. While many people think that it would be wasteful to use public money for the preservation of those languages, I believe that governments should put/set some expenditure on it.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why many people oppose to spend state budget on reviving minority languages. Firstly, because of globalization, people now are more likely to learn universal languages such as English or Chinese for various purposes, especially communication on, rather than less-spoken ones. Consequently, minority languages have gradually disappeared because it is considered as a waste of money to invest in dying tongues for nothing. Secondly, in fact, saving a language is a difficult task, which governments cannot ensure to succeed even when investing a large amount of money. Instead, it is said to use public money for urgent issues, such as improving infrastructure or raising social welfare.

On the other hand, I believe that governments should make more efforts to keep minority languages alive. Clearly, a tongue plays an integral role in shaping an indigenous group and its culture. It is also considered as a part of national identity which identify who we are. Hence, government spending in an attempt to save endangered languages is essential; otherwise, human beings would lose unique ethnic identities. Furthermore, some minority languages are also beneficial for lingual experts in terms of research. As a result, if governments can finally take action to protect minority languages from extinction, we could explore some ancient races in particular and human beings’ evolution in general.

In conclusion, unlike several people who think the saving of dying languages is a waste of money, I truly advocate governments to spend state budget on keeping languages from disappearance.

 

Answer 1

Word count: 298

Error count: 6

1. You wrote: ...ave gradually disappeared because it is considered as a waste of money to invest in dying ton...

Feedback: You don't need the preposition "as" after "considered". Did you mean simply "considered" or "considered to be"?

Error type: Preposition missing error

Suggestion: considered, considered to be

 

2. You wrote: ...forts to keep minority languages alive. , a tongue plays an integral role in shap...

Feedback: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma

Error type: Typography

Suggestion: ,

 

3. You wrote: ...enous group and its culture. It is also considered as a part of national identity which ident...

Feedback: You don't need the preposition "as" after "considered". Did you mean simply "considered" or "considered to be"?

Error type: Preposition missing error

Suggestion: considered, considered to be

 

4. You wrote: ... state budget on keeping languages from disappearance.

Feedback: The article is probably missing before the noun: "a disappearance", "the disappearance". (art101)

Error type: Article and uncountable noun error

Suggestion: a disappearance, the disappearance

• remove 'clearly'
• identify -> identifies
• state ---> the state

Feedback: Using words with a strongly negative or positive sentiment in your thesis statement and topic sentences will tell your reader that you have taken a strong stance on the topic. Avoid neutral claims in opinion essays

Feedback: Great essays reformulate the last sentence of the introduction at the beginning of the conclusion, making the same precise claim about the topic but in different words. A full paraphrase will always impress your reader more than word-for-word repetition.

Estimated band: 6.5 

 

 

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Answer 2

Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/Writing-Task-2_Spend-public-money-on-saving-languages.docx

These days, some languages are gradually prone to extinction due to the minor number of people speaking them. [p1] While many people think that it would be wasteful to use public money for the preservation of those languages, I believe that governments should put/set some expenditure on it[p2] .

On the one hand, there are several reasons why many people oppose to spend state budget on reviving minority languages[p3] . Firstly, because of globalization, people now are more likely to learn universal languages such as English or Chinese for various purposes, especially communication one, rather than less-spoken ones. Consequently, minority languages/languages used by fewer people have gradually disappeared because it is considered as a waste of money to invest in dying tongues for nothing. Secondly, in fact, saving a language is a difficult task, which governments cannot ensure to succeed even when investing a large amount of money. Instead, it is said to use public money for urgent issues, such as improving infrastructure or raising social welfare.

On the other hand, I believe that governments should make more efforts to keep minority languages alive. Clearly, a tongue a language plays an integral role in shaping an indigenous group and its culture. It is also considered as a part of national identity which identify indentifies who we are. Hence, government spending in an attempt to save endangered languages [p4] is essential; otherwise, human beings would lose unique ethnic identities. Furthermore, some minority languages are also beneficial for lingual experts in terms of research. As a result, if governments can finally take action to protect minority languages from extinction, we could explore some ancient races in particular and human beings’ evolution in general.

In conclusion, unlike several people who think the saving of dying languages saving dying languages is a waste of money, I truly advocate governments to spend state budget on keeping languages from disappearance[p5] .

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 [p1]Idea Suggestion: Use “decreasing number”

à “due to the decreasing number of people”

Also, “communicating” or “using”

à “due to the decreasing number of people communicating by them”

 [p2]Vocabulary Error: “expenditure” means “the amount of money paid for something”

à “should allocate/spend budget on it”

 [p3]Idea Suggestion: Use “minority” to add meaning to “people”

à “on reviving languages of the group of minority”

 [p4]Vocabulary Error: “save languages that could be forgotten”

 [p5]Idea Suggestion: “to spend state budget to deter languages from the disappearance”

Use “deter sth + from”

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CRITERIA	GRADE	COMMENT
Task Response	6.5	addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
Coherence and Cohesion	6.5	arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately uses paragraphing, but not always logically
Lexical Resource	6.5	uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication
Grammatical Range and Accuracy	6.5	uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication
Overall	6.5

 

 

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