Advertisement is so popular in the modern time that many people think it plays an important role in our lives. In my opinion, I only agree in part[p1] with this statement for the following reasons.
It is indisputable that advertising has a positive impact on our daily lives. Firstly, advertising is a powerful tool to compare differences in price[p2] . In particular, in modern life, due to the severe pressure of time, so they do not have much time to search for the quality as well as price of consuming goods by going around all of supermarkets or traditional markets[p3] . Therefore, advertising would be a source of information that reflects differences of various brands and helps customers purchase things they concern within their budgets. Besides, advertising on means of media such as TV, radio or the Internet could be regarded as a form of entertainment. For example, a study of Oxford University showed that advertising with catchy melodies can easily attract children’ attention in their meals. That is the reason why many mothers usually find it easier to feed their kids with the serve of advertising broadcasting on TV.
However, advertising programs sometimes also have negative issues. Particularly, to increase the consumption of products, companies sometimes abuse advertisement by giving false information [p4] of gadgets to attract customers [p5] to buy, resulting in the disappointment of shoppers because actual products are worse than advertised ones in quality[p6] . Besides, advertisement could annoy people from time to time. For instance, TV viewers usually feel bothered rather than interested when their film-watching is interpreted by pop-ups on film websites.
In conclusion, I believe that advertising is an essential part of our lives, but it also bears some negative images and information [p7] that should be removed.
[p1]Vocabulary Error: “I partially/partly agree”
[p2]Idea Suggestion: Should refer directly to “consumers”
Reference: “…tool for consumers to compare the difference in price”
[p3]Idea Suggestion: Write shorter sentence à “by directly do shopping”
[p4]Idea Suggestion: “by giving false information and misleading facts”
[p5]Idea Suggestion: “to attract customers to generate more revenue”
[p6]Idea Suggestion: Use “overrated”
Reference: “because actual products are overrated, failing to be compared with similar entities from other brands”
[p7]Idea Suggestion: “bear inappropriate content that should be removed”