[Writing Task 2] Children should always follow their parents' advice. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Question

Parents play an importan role in children life. Some people said that "Children should obey their parent's advice". In my opinion, I agree with this statement, mom and dad is the best teacher. Sometimes, thay are talkative but their talk is true.

Firstly, parents are the closest friend with kids. Since one born, the early person one see is one's mother, then is one's fathẻ. So talking with them is more easily than others. If the kid in trouble, some will tell with their "closet friend" first. I usually tell them my problem and them teach my how to solve it.

In addiction, parents are having more experience in life than offsprings, cause their age not as young as a kid. People who taught children how to stand, walk, run and encouraged them to go to school, most is their mom and dad. For me, my parent cannot best in other people's eye, but they are the best people to me. I set them as the example for my behaviour.

Last but not least, no one might love offsprings as much as their parent. One reaseon is that they born a kid. so they ought to reposible for one. The love of teacher is different from that, because they are paid for each lesson at school. At times, they can punish them or angry of their action, but it just one kind of love. My mother often unhappy when I come home late, or do some naughty thing.

In conclusion, parent's completely have enought capacity to becom the best teacher for children, me, and for all people.

Answer 1

Parents play an important role in children life. Some people said that "Children should obey their parent's advice". In my opinion, I agree with this statement, mom and dad is the best teacher. Sometimes, they are talkative but their talk is true.

Firstly, parents are the closest friend with children. Since one born, the early person one see is one's mother, then is one's father. So talking with them is more easily than others. If the kid in trouble, some will tell with their "closet friend" first. I usually tell them my problem and they teach me  how to solve it. 

In addition, parents are having more experience in life than offsprings, cause their age not as young as a kid. People who taught children how to stand, walk, run and encourage them to go to school, most is their mom and dad. For me, my parent cannot best in other people's eye, but they are the best people to me. I set them as the example for my behaviour.

Last but not least, no one might love offsprings as much as their parent. One reaseon is that they born a kid. so they ought to be responsible for one. The love of teacher is different from that, because they are paid for each lesson at school. At times, they can punish them or be angry about their action, but it just one kind of love. My mother often unhappy when I come home late, or do some naughty things.

In conclusion, parent's completely have enought capacity to becom the best teacher for children, me, and for all people.

in my opinion, the essay need to be more academic.

you should use more academic vocabulary.

Answer 2

Source: https://s3-ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/ielts.forums/Revised-Task-2-Children-should-always.docx

CRITERIA	GRADE	COMMENT
Task Achievement	5	• addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others • presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive • presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
Coherence and Cohesion	5	• presents information with some organization but there may be a lack of overall progression • attempts to use cohesive devices, but cohesion within and between sentences may be faulty or mechanical • may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately • uses paragraphing, but not always logically
Lexical Resource	4	• uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task • attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy • makes some errors in spelling and word formation, may impede communication; please do recheck the spelling if you are not sure about it.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy	5	• uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms but the complex structures tend to be less accurate than simple ones • makes frequent errors in grammar and punctuation is faulty; errors cause some difficulty for the reader; pay attention to your grammar
Overall	5.0	Pay attention to your vocabulary spelling and grammar mistakes!