The table below gives information about the participation of 11-14 year-olds by gender in extreme sports in the UK in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Question

This is my first writing task 1 - table.

Pls gimme some cmt to make it better next time. Thk u so much ^^ !

 

link for image : https://www.facebook.com/roadtoielts/photos/a.764469446932764.1073741855.520906281289083/764906940222348/?type=3&theater

 

 

Answer:

 

 The table shows the proportion of the involvement of people aged 11-14 in action sports in United Kingdom in 2003.

 It’s is evident that, except Rollerblading, the boy’s percentages of taking part in the sports almost predominate the girls’. While Rollerblading, Skateboarding and Mountain biking attracted considerable proportions of both genders, the rest only gained negligible rates.

  Rollerblading is not only the most attracted sport by all people at the age of 11-14, total 26.6 %, but also obtained the biggest figure of female players ,nearly a third girls’ total. Skateboarding, which had the largest number of male playing, 27.5 %, was followed by Mountain biking with 22.7% of 11-14 year old male participated, both of them were roughly doubled the quantity of the female played.

  While the number of 11-14 people joined Snowboarding was the least figure, the quantity of girl took part in was almost a half of boy’s proportion, 4% and 8.1 % respectively. Meanwhile the amount of male whose age was 11-14 played Mountain Climbing is 10.6 %, it is nearly approximated the number of females took part in.

(183 words)

 

Answer 1

 The table shows the proportion of the involvement of people aged 11-14 in action sports in United Kingdom in 2003.

=> The table shows how many people aged 11-14 took part in action sports in the United Kingdom during 2003. 

Ý kiến cá nhân mình thấy là câu mở đầu nên đơn giản thôi, ko cần khoe làm gì >">> Vì khoe chữ thì task2 sẽ khoe được nhiều hơn... :D 

 It’s is evident that, except Rollerblading, the boy’s percentages of taking part in the sports almost predominate the girls’. While Rollerblading, Skateboarding and Mountain biking attracted considerable proportions of both genders, the rest only gained negligible rates.

=> It is clear that the proportion of male's participation outweighted female's one overall. We can also see that snowboarding is the least attractive sport. 

 Rollerblading is not only the most attracted sport, total 26.6 %, but also obtained the biggest figure of female players 

 

=...attractive... , at total 26.6%. ..figure for....

was followed by Mountain biking with 22.7% of 11-14 year old male participated, both of them were roughly doubled the quantity of the female played.

 

=>....participating...playing...

While the number of 11-14 people joined Snowboarding was the least figure, the quantity of girl took part in was almost a half of boy’s proportion, 4% and 8.1 % respectively. 

=> While the figure for people joining snowboarding was the least, the quantity of girl participated in was nearly ..... 

( This sentence doesn't make sense at all. Bởi vì while là dùng để make comparison.... ( 2 cái tương phản). Câu trên mình chữa về lỗi grammar...Bạn có thể dùng từ "An interesting factor is that...."

Mình có click vào trang fb của bạn. HÌnh như đó là page bạn lập ra đúng ko ^^ Amazing <3 Nhưng bạn có thể làm ơn ghi từ "my answer" thay vì "answer" được ko ToT Vì một số bạn sẽ hiểu nhầm là bài viết mẫu mà cứ thế là dập khuôn theo cách của bạn viết cho dù bài của bạn có excellent thế nào đi chăng nữa... Just personal opinion. ^^

Hope this help. =3= 

Mình cũng mới học nên nếu có lỗi gì mong bạn thông cảmmmmm. 

Anw, you did a great job. ^O^ Keep it movinggggggggggggggggggg. 

 

 

 

Comments

cảm ơn bạn nhiều :3
page đấy của mình lập để vừa học vừa chia sẻ luôn :3.

Answer 2

Bài của bạn su khi sửa khá là ok đấy, Mình mới tập viết IELTS nên mình có thể tham khảo bài viết của bạn được không??????