Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation
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The hustle and bustle life has resulted in increasing demands placed on a kind of food that needs little preparation and can be used at any time. Some people now fear that the prevalence of convenience food will pose a threat to the availability of traditional cuisine. However, in my point of view, I am strongly convinced that despite some obvious benefits this type of food may bring, this fear will never come into reality.
To begin with, convenience foods prove useful when it comes to time and money. It is in disputable that the contemparily high inflation may induce every individual to work over time and reduce monthly expenditure. By means of convenience foods can they probably save a large amount of their time. For instance, thanks to the advance in technology such as microwave and electronic oven, a sophisticated ready – prepared meal could be made in first a few minutes. Additionally, this kind of food are becoming increasing cheaper, thereby appealing to a huge population in need of saving money.
In spite of the common knowledge of the utility of convenience foods, they will probably never conquer the food markets due to growing mass media which disseminate the high value of traditional cuisine. Thesedays, there are more recreational programmes related to traditional  cooking process which may not only attract a majority of observers but also encourages them to follow these long – lasting methods. A case in point is Master chef, which present a severe competition among professional cookers. The impressive skill as well as good looking of the meal may inspire the TV watchers to try these foods. As a result, the traditional foods and their preparation approaches can have opportunity to be upheld and developed.
Apart from the assistance of media, traditional cuisine is representative of a nation’s culture which is know for its long – standing spirits. For example, in some special occasion traditional foods are indispensable in every household, without which the festival’s marked feature may fade away.
To conclude, no matter how advantageous convenience food may be, it will never take place of traditional foods along with their preparation steps because of the significant surge in social media and the firm awareness of upholding the national cultural beauty. It is recommended that people should only resort to convenience foods in sticky circumstances in order to contribute to maintaining the traditional cuisine.
 
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3 Answers

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Hi bạn, mình chỉ có một số góp ý về mặt ngữ pháp:

+"despite some obvious benefits this type of food may bring" => despite + N
+"convenience foods prove useful when it comes to time and money". (Câu này ko biết "It" có phải thay cho "convenience foods" không, vì thực ra là mình ko hiểu it ở đây nghĩa là gì).
+ mình không tra đc từ "contemparily" trong từ điển,
+ each individual.

+ increasingly cheaper
in some special occasions
take the place of 

Một số lỗi chia động từ: 
 ... growing mass media which disseminates...
+  this kind of food is...
+ ...which may not only attract a majority of observers but also encourages....
+ ...
Master chef, which presents...
which is known

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1 comment

Cảm ơn bạn. Có lẽ bạn hiểu lầm 1 số chỗ và do lỗi đánh máy của mình nữa^^. Chỗ despite là despite some obvious benefits, / còn contemparily là contemporarily mới đúng^^ / à còn chỗ when it comes to it ở đây k refer to các từ khác, mà when it comes to = as regards= in term of = with/in regard to đó bạn. Anyways. Thank you a lot. I appreciate it
1 vote
1 vote
hi. theo mình thi phần ''media influence'' của bạn hơi dài. ;)

bạn có thế viết thêm ý về ''health problem'' khi sử dụng convenience food.

mà: It is in disputable that...=> it is in dispute that...
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8 points

1 comment

Mình cũng nghĩ một số ý hơi dài và thiếu đi phần quan trọng là health. Không biết có bạn nào đã viết một bài tương tự thế này hay chưa, post lên cho mọi người cùng tham khảo với.
0 votes
0 votes

from my point of view

prove to be useful

this kind of food is becoming

encourage

presents

cookers=> cooks

TV viewers

without which => without them

occasions

Lặp từ convenience food=> fastfood

Bài của bạn tốt lắm :D band 7, i think

 

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