Bài IELTS task 2 sáng 21/6 - HCMC - entertaining and educational [closed]

Question

Topic: In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Fast food is becoming popular in today’s era. However, people eat too much junk food, this brings disadvantages for people health. I strong believe the number of health risk; it is related to high fast food consumption. I totally agree that government should be increase a heavy tax for junk food.

I strong believe that imposing a hefty tax for this kind of food and this can reduce the number of health problems of human. Firstly, fast food chain has the most calories, this leads to obese or heart problem. For example, in 2004, it is estimated that nine million between the ages of 6-18 are obese. This includes 127 million overweight adults, approximately 60 million obese adults.

In addition, increase taxes on fast food, it will help decrease the number of junk food consumption. The cost tax can be used as a tool to raise awareness of the harmful effects of junk food. Moreover, in some countries are not imposing a higher tax for fast food restaurant, however, they imposing a higher tax for fat or sugar because the condition of being grossly fat and the problem of obesity among children in Mexico increasing because they ate too much fast food and drink too much soda. For example, Officials in India’s southern state of Kerala have placed a tax on fast food, at 14.5 percent at restaurants such as McDonald’s, Pizza Hut and Burger Ki.

In conclusion, fast food help people save their time when they are a bit hectic. However, I would agree that governments should be imposing a hefty tax for fast food because people have a high consumption of junk and unhealthy food, it brings some diseases like obesity and cardiovascular disease.

 

Answer 1

 

Fast food is becoming popular in today’s era.[W1]  However, people eat too much junk food[W2] , this brings disadvantages for people health[W3] . I strong believe the number of health risk; it is related to high fast food consumption. I totally agree that government should be increase a heavy tax[W4]  for junk food.[W5]

I strong believe that imposing a hefty tax[W6]  for this kind of food and this can reduce the number of health problems of human. Firstly, fast food chain[W7]  has the most calories, this leads to obese or heart problem. For example, in 2004, it is estimated that nine million between the ages of 6-18 are obese. This includes 127 million overweight adults, approximately 60 million obese adults.[W8] [W9]

In addition, increase taxes on fast food, it will help decrease the number of junk food consumption. The cost tax can be used as a tool to raise awareness of the harmful effects of junk food. Moreover, in some countries are not imposing a higher tax for fast food restaurant, however, they imposing a higher tax for fat or sugar because the condition of being grossly fat and the problem of obesity among children in Mexico increasing because they ate too much fast food and drink too much soda. For example, Officials in India’s southern state of Kerala have placed a tax on fast food, at 14.5 percent at restaurants such as McDonald’s, Pizza Hut and Burger Ki.

In conclusion, fast food help people save their time when they are a bit hectic. However, I would agree that governments should be imposing a hefty tax for fast food because people have a high consumption of junk and unhealthy food, it brings some diseases like obesity and cardiovascular disease.

 

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 If you would like to discuss and conrrect fully the easy, I will evolve on this easy to help you, just alert :))

[W1]Expression error: It is very strange to me.

• Refer: in present or nowaday in first of the sentence.

 [W2]Expression error: this sentence is not necessary, just delete it.

 [W3]Grammar error:

1: People’s health

2: It is not befenical for people’s health 

 [W4]Grammar error:

1 should be increase

2 heavy tax ( We say, heavey tax would decrease volume of junk food consumption)

 [W5]I just rewrite this paragraph:

Fast food is more popular in our morden lives. However people abuse to use this kind of food consistently which lead to some health’s issues. Therefor I totally support that governement would rise the tax on junk food.

 [W6]Vocabulary error: heavy tax

 [W7]Expression error: what you mean when mention ‘chain’

 [W8]Expression error: Never use specific number in task 2, b/c examiner believe it os real number

 [W9]It seam you arrange idea not  well therefore I would like to suggest the structure:

1 Topic sentence: On the one hand, fast food leads to a lot of health problem. Therefore  government impose heavy tax on this kind of food which have a few benefits.

2 Explain why: Reducing the consumption

3 Take example: Limiting the risk of some diseases.

 

 

 

Answer 2

Fast food is becoming popular in today’s era. However, people eat too much junk food, this brings disadvantages for people health. I strong believe number of health risk; it is related to high fast food consumption. I totally agree that government should be increase =>> increase a heavy tax for junk food.

I strong =>> strongly believe that imposing a hefty tax for this kind of food and this can reduce the number of health problems of human =>> humankind . Firstly, fast food chain has the most calories, this leads to obese or heart problem. For example, in 2004, it is estimated that nine million between the ages of 6-18 are obese. This includes 127 million overweight adults, approximately 60 million obese adults.

In addition, increase taxes on fast food, it will help decrease the number of junk food consumption. The cost tax can be used as a tool to raise awareness of the harmful effects of junk food. Moreover, in some countries are not imposing a higher tax for fast food restaurant, however, they imposing =>> impose a higher tax for fat or sugar because the condition of being grossly fat and the problem of obesity among children in Mexico increasing because they ate too much fast food and drink too much soda. For example, Officials in India’s southern state of Kerala have placed a tax on fast food, at 14.5 percent at restaurants such as McDonald’s, Pizza Hut and Burger Ki.

In conclusion, fast food help people save their time when they are a bit hectic. However, I would agree that governments should be imposing a hefty tax for fast food because when people have a high consumption of junk and unhealthy food, it brings=>> causes some diseases like obesity and cardiovascular disease.

 

Answer 3

INTRO: However, people eat too much junk food, this brings disadvantages for people health. I strong believe the number of health risk it is related to high fast food consumption. I totally agree that government should be increase a heavy tax for junk food. sửa lại  However, eating too much junk food can bring many disadvantages for people health. I strongly believe the government should increase the tax heavily for junk food. của bạn có nhiều grammar mistakes + để dấu không hợp lí nhé.
BODY 1: I strong believe that imposing a hefty tax for this kind of food and this can reduce the number of health problems of human. Firstly, fast food chain has the most contains a great amount of calories,  which can leads to diabetes type 2 and heart problem. For example, in 2004, it is estimated that nine million between the ages of 6-18 are obese. This includes 127 million overweight adults, approximately 60 million overweight adults.