2,260 views
1 vote
1 vote
closed

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on punishment.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

It is argued whether fixed or unfixed punishments for crime are acceptable. In spite of advantages of constant way of punishing, I hold a viewpoint that it would be better off considering the situations and motivation.

First of all, fixed punishments are beneficial because of its easiness and fairness. Judges could make a decision immediately how to punish criminals with unawareness of their ages, genders, circumstances, incentives or disincentives. All kinds of people commit the same crime would be treated equally and fairly. Besides, people could be conscious of how they would be punished if they committed each type of crime. There would be no sympathy, forgiving or reduction. Therefore, severe disciplines could deter citizens from breaking laws or doing something illegally.

On the contrary, I wholly agree with the statement that punishments should fit the crime. Each individual is under different circumstance. Criminals’ situations and motivation should be taken account of because of their strong influence on the criminals’ act. It may be deliberate or spontaneous. For instance, robbers steal money or other facilities for their profit should be punished differently from who commit robbery for their starvation, poverty and unemployment. Therefore, judges are responsible for deciding the best and most suitable response to the crime. The consciousness of criminals’ circumstances would express the humanity in national laws.

To conclude, while some people believe strongly that fixed punishments would be the most acceptable, others, inclusive I, still reflect our viewpoints that humane principles are respectable to govern locals or nations. 

by
23 points

1 Answer

2 votes
2 votes
 
Best answer
First of all, Your essay is rather good, it contain 3 parts and a thesis statement in the intro, good use of noun phase. However, You made some small mistakes:

All kinds of people commit the same crime would be treated equally and fairly--> all kinds of people committing the same.../ all kinds of people who commit....

Criminals’ situations and motivation should be taken account of because of their strong influence on the criminals’ act--> taken into account.

- you should pay attention to your linking words and connectors. It seems there are no clear links between the sentences in para 1.

- pronounce like I should be only mentioned in the intro, you should avoice using it in the body para as well as repeat the sentence like I agree in the body paragraph.

- as for the conclusion para, you should restate your mainpoints why do you agree that. And  then, should give your own opinion and recommendation.

=> all of these are just my personal point of view. Hope that you will find it useful. Thank you

sincerely,

greeny
selected by
by
13 points

2 Comments

Thank you for correcting my mistakes. Can you suggest how much I could get through this essay?
I' not sure because I'm not an Ielts examiner. However, according to my own experience in essay writing task 2, this one can get 6 or 6.5 but it doesnt mean your writing band because Ielts writing is  dependent on not only writing task 2 but also task 1. By the way, please come and see my writing essay task 2 and give me some comments. Thank you!

Related questions

0 votes
0 votes
2 answers
1 vote
1 vote
2 answers
trangphamm50 asked Jul 23, 2014
trangphamm50 asked Jul 23, 2014
by trangphamm50
65 points
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer
Heobeo asked Jul 21, 2017
Heobeo asked Jul 21, 2017
by Heobeo
19 points