line graph- bài đầu tiên e viết . mong mọi người giúp ạ

Question

The line chart compares the amount of  UK acid rain caused by 4 different sectors over a period of 17 years.

It is clear that transport and communication sector was by far the main source of  acid rain emission over the period shown. Domestic one emitted the lowest amount of acid rain in each year.

In 1990, electricity, gas and water supply sector released over 3.3 million tonnes of acid rain, being the primary cause for the acid rain emmision in the UK. the figure for other industies sector causing, as well as it of transport and communication one, was under 2.3 millione tonnes. Besides, domestic sector emitted a relatively small amount. 6 years later, other industries sector overtook the E, G and W supply sector as the primary cause of acid rain in the UK that led the later to the second main cause. Until 2002, transport and communication sector produced the second most largest amount of acid rain.

Betwen 1900 and 2007, there was a considerable drop in the amount of acid rain emitted by E, G and W supply sector, from around 3.3 in 1990 to 0.5 million tonnes by 2007.Rather similarly, over the period of 17 year, the quantity of acid rain emission from other industries sector fell gradually to under 1.5 million tonnes by 2007. In the same way,the acid rain from domestic sector  decreased prossesively from 0.6 to 0.2 million tonnes for the whole of 17-year period. By contrast,  transport and communication sector emiited the amount of acid rain that rose steadily to a peak of 1 million tonnes in 2005. 

Answer 1

1) The figure for other industies sector causing - mình nghĩ từ này thừa, as well as it of transport and communication one, was under 2.3 millione tonnes.

Bạn thử gộp đơn giản là the figures for other industries and transport and communication were, vì cụm as well as it nó cứ thế nào ấy.

2) Rather similarly, over the period of 17 year, the quantity of acid rain emission from other industries sector fell gradually to under 1.5 million tonnes by 2007.

Câu này có cần cụm này ko nhỉ, vì câu trước mình đã nhắc đến period này rồi này, rồi mình còn nói là rather similarly nữa.

3) Mình cũng đã viết bài này, và mình thích cụm the second main cause của bạn. Trong bài mình viết thì mình dùng second key emitter không biết có phù hợp không.