Task 1 - Destination of UK graduates and postgraduates

Question

The charts below show that what UK graduate and postgraduates students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparisons where relevant.

Answer:

The charts give information about the activities which U.K. bachelors and postgraduates participated after college graduation apart from full-time work in 2008.

Overall, most of graduate and postgraduate students in the U.K decided to pursue higher education after leaving college while volunteering was the least popular destination among the four mentioned ones. Besides, the number of graduates participating in each activity was higher than that of postgraduates.

In comparison to the number of graduates undertaking further study, which was 29,665, there were 3,500 graduate students engaging in voluntary work. After graduation, 17,735 bachelors had a part-time job while 16,235 graduates were unemployed, which was ten times higher than that of postgraduate students.

Turning to postgraduates, taking higher education was the most favorite destination with 2,235 students, followed by part-time work with 2,535 postgrads. In contrast, there were 345 students volunteering after graduation. Finally, the number of unemployed postgraduate students was 1,625.  

Mong mọi người góp ý và giúp đỡ!

Answer 1

Bài viết của bạn rất tốt. Mình thấy bạn đã thành công trong task response, phần coherence cũng rất là okey.

- "ten times higher than" mình nghĩ nên sửa thành "ten times as high as" vì đây là so sánh bằng, kiểu caao gấp 10 lần, chứ không phải so sánh hơn.

-"postgraduates students" nên bỏ chữ s "postgraduates"

-Thay từ "graduates" thành "bachelors" rất hay. cái này mình cần học tập.

try to use more vocabularies. thực ra mình ít vocabs, và bài bạn rất mượt ròi, nhưng cố gắng dùng một số tư hiếm nhé, với cả tránh lặp từ nhiều như kiểu "destination" :)

Best regards,