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The first pie chart shows how energy is used in a typical Australian household while the second pie chart illustrates the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which results from this energy consumption. In general, the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions is higer than that of energy use, except for heating.

As can be seen, heating consumed 42% of total energy consuption in an average Australian household. Water heating accounts for 30% while other appliances, refrigeration, lighting and cooling require 28% energy.

However, heating produced only 15% greenhouse gas emissionswhile water heating and other appliances contributed to the highest percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which is 60%. Refrigeration and lighting omit double the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions in comparison with those of energy use respectively. Cooling generated 3% greenhouse gas emissions which is the lowest in total.
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Mình có một số góp ý sau nha:

- Introduction: the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from

- Overview: higher than that of

Bạn nên sử dụng thống nhất một thì (hiện tại hoặc quá khứ) ở phần Body nha! Nếu đề bài có nêu năm cụ thể, lùi về trước so với hiện tại thì bạn sử dụng thì quá khứ. Nếu đề bài không nêu cụ thể năm hoặc mốc thời gian, bạn nên sử dụng thì hiện tại.

 

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