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Question

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community.They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.Do you agree or disagree?

 

By and large,volunteer work is considered to be beautiful actions of teenagers.Neverthless,there is a belief that unpaid word should be mandatory for all adolescents in their spare time,which I completely disagree with.In my view,teenagers do those work because of desire to help the community but they can not force them.

In the first place,volunteer work brings to them enormous experience.On summer occasions,it is favourable for students to take part in activities in the locality.In fact,after hard-working days to improve the facilities or visit the needy they do realize the results of their effort.Futhermore,they have a chance to learn more about practicalities of the disabled,the poor and so on.To them,spending precious time is the baggage for them in the future.

In the second place,they are optional to partake in certain volunteer work.If a teenager is compelled to do the volunteer activities,he will be lethargic with ineffective quality results.To take another take,if the local community force adolescents to volunteer,it probably deprives all the merciful nature of  that.Hence,there will be fewer and fewer people desire to enhance the local.

In a nutshell,volunteer work is beneficial and useful in term of the teenagers’willingness to try their best to help their surroundings.Thus,the local society have no right to make them compulsory to join in volunteer activities.

 

Answer 1

By and large,volunteer work is considered to be beautiful actions of teenagers.Neverthless,there is a belief that unpaid word should be mandatory for all adolescents in their spare time,which I completely disagree with.In my view,teenagers do those work because of desire to help the community but they can not force them.

theo mình không nên dùng cụm "to be.."------------is considered as a beatiful action

those work------------ those works, or voluntary activities

because of + Noun/ Ving --------Because of the desire of helping or because of the expectation

Bạn không nên dùng they them trong câu cuối vì readers sẽ không biết they là ai mà them là ai

but that thing cannot (nhớ phải dính hai thèn này lại) force such students, or students cannot be obliged by such activities.

In the first place,volunteer work brings to them enormous experience.On summer occasions,it is favourable for students to take part in activities in the locality.In fact,after hard-working days to improve the facilities or visit the needy they do realize the results of their effort.Futhermore,they have a chance to learn more about practicalities of the disabled,the poor and so on.To them,spending precious time is the baggage for them in the future.

Theo mình khi viết mình nên đổi những cụm từ mình dùng rồi, chẳng hạn volunteer work dùng rồi thì mình dùng cụm khác như voluntary works hoặc working as volunteer social staffs. Một lần nữa bạn lại dùng them không đúng rồi, tại sao có them trong câu này. bạn có thể viết Serving as volunteer social staffs might bring out remarkably enormous experience for students themselves.

In the second place,they are optional to partake in certain volunteer work.If a teenager is compelled to do the volunteer activities,he will be lethargic with ineffective quality results. Mình không hiểu câu này lém, he nào ở đây, đừng dùng nhiều từ mang tính cá nhân, phải general. To take another take,if the local community force adolescents to volunteer,it probably deprives all the merciful nature of  that.Hence,there will be fewer and fewer people desire to enhance the local. Nguyên đoạn mình không hiểu rõ bạn đang đề cập vấn đề nào, merciful nature of that là sao, bản chất khoan dung, mình đoán thế

In a nutshell,volunteer work is beneficial and useful in term of the teenagers’willingness to try their best to help their surroundings.Thus,the local society have no right to make them compulsory to join in volunteer activities.

MOng rằng hữu ích cho bạn, cảm ơn nhiều

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