Born with talents or taught [closed]

Question

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Children are given birth with both normally and abnormally innate skills. It is argued whether these skills are a deciding factor in their future reputation, such as sport and music. According to me, teaching approaches hold a more important role in children’s prospect than their inborn talents.

On the one hand, gifted people are much easier to become proficient in their career. They inherit qualities and abilities sooner than others. Taking advantage of this feature could help them develop their techniques and be wiser in the future. In particular, an Austrian musician named Mozart was regarded as a talented child. He was able to compose a music piece at the age of about 5 while other children were taken care of by adults. Mozart, therefore, rapidly became famous and popular with many outstanding pieces of music. However, there have been very few gifted people over the globe for centuries.

In contrast, specialised sportspeople or musicians will never become well known unless they are trained. It holds true not only to children born with certain talents but also to those who are born normally. Their teachers could be their parents, their relatives or other celebrities. These people have extreme experiences and knowledge to teach their descendants. In spite of talented techniques, footballers, for instance, would not score the games if they were not aware of strategies.

In conclusion, whether children are delivered with inborn abilities or with common faculties, they obviously have capacity to become famous sportspeople or musicians if they are taught in a good way.

Answer 1

Good use of synonyms, noun phrase, good ideas. I totally like this essay. Congratz!

Comments

Thank you for commenting on my essay. :) I am planning to take the IETLS exam. I need a 6.0 for each part. :) But I don't know when I can achieve my goal. It may be a bit far future.

Answer 2

Sport => sports

According to me = As far as I am concerned (more formal)

In particular, an Austrian musician named Mozart was regarded as a talented child. He was able to compose a music piece at the age of about 5 while other children were taken care of by adults. Mozart, therefore, rapidly became famous and popular with many outstanding pieces of music

=> CUTTING: In particular, Mozart, a famous Australian music talent, was able to compose a music piece at the age of about 5, hence his instant fame.

Good work :) I love your vocab

Answer 3

I think this piece of work deserves more than a 6 (as you expected :p) I think its well structured , academic enough eventhough there are still some minor errors. But never mind :p however, i think you should add some relevant or your real experience. I could add up your score :p

Answer 4

Well done! :) I think it is better than you expect :) keep going!

Answer 5

Hi Etersould,

I would say you should be more confident in your writing skill and keep it more perfect every day. I think that you can get your target if you keep improving your writing like this.

Congrats and good luck :)

Molly

Answer 6

i like the coherence. Good job 

Band 7, i think 

 "those who are born normally" nghe chỗ này như kiểu đẻ thường (khác với để mổ) :D. Có cách nào nói hay và rõ nghĩa hơn ko.

Answer 7

mình có vài nhận xét và sửa lại sau, các bạn xem thấy ổn ko nhé

1while other children were taken care of by adults: ý sai so với vế đằng trc tương tự câu who are born normally

TỪ VỰNG BẠN tốt nhưng một số từ mình ko chắc có sử dụng đúng hay ko

ngữ pháp chưa đa dạng lắm, quá nhiều câu đơn

ví dụ trong para 1 chưa sát đề lắm( ko support tốt cho ideas), do trong para 1 này bạn cần chứng minh rằng là ko phải ai đc dạy dỗ cũng trở thành good musician... đc, có thể nêu ví dụ là nhiều cầu thủ bóng đá mặc dù đc đào tạo bài bản nhưng do lười nhác vẫn ko thể trở thành những cầu thủ giỏi đc, chỉ 1 số trụ lại đc như ....

 

On the one hand, gifted people are much easier to become proficient in their career. They inherit qualities and abilities sooner than others. BY Taking advantage of this feature could help them develop their techniques and be wiser in the future. In particular, an Austrian musician named Mozart was regarded as a talented child. He was able to compose a music piece at the age of about 5 while other children were taken care of by adults(/, WHILE OTHER CHILDREN CAN NOT EVEN  READ THE ALPHABET. Mozart, therefore, rapidly became famous and popular with many outstanding pieces of music/ HE THEREFORE BECAME A RENOWED ACTOR, AND HIS SONGS ARE EXTREMELY  POPUPAR ALL OVER THE WORLD . However, there have been very few gifted people over the globe for centuries.

In contrast, specialised sportspeople or musicians will never become well known unless they are trained. It holds true not only to children born with certain talents but also to those who are born normally/WHO NOT HAVE ANY SPECIAL ABILITY. Their teachers could be their parents, their relatives or other SOME( BỎ OTHER)celebrities. These people have extreme experiences and knowledge to teach their descendants. In spite of talented techniques/DESPITE HAVING TALENTED TECHNIQUES, footballers, for instance, would not score the A game if they were not aware of strategies.

In conclusion, whether children are delivered with inborn abilities or with common faculties, they obviously have capacity to become famous sportspeople or musicians if they are taught in a good way.

 

 

Comments

còn 1 điều nữa, là trong para 2 bạn cần phải nêu ý kiến là mình ủng hộ , chẳng hạn là i believed that........