The subject and lesson content of what children are taught in schools is often decided by central authorities, such as the federal government. Some people believe that teachers should be responsible for this task. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Question

It is a fact that we have every right to decide when to start or stop our schoolings but we have no control whatsoever over what we will learn. While some people believe it is teachers who should handle this issue, I think we would do better to let governments do it.

On the one hand, we can easily point out a few reasons justifying why teachers should be given the task of designing curriculums or lesson content for students. Educators are those who directly interact with them so they are well-acquainted with the needs of the learners. If teachers are allowed to choose their ways of approach, this might create a more comfortable environment in the class. Students also benefit from these changes. A more flexible way of learning can in turn boost children’s creativity and fuel their interests in learning. What’s more, once teachers have become involved not only in teaching but also in charting a course for the process, they in all likelihood will apply themselves more to their works and relentlessly look into a way to improve education.

On the other hand, it is undoubtedly hard to find such teachers nowadays. Most of them are not qualified to come up with an appropriate course of studying on their own. Many would rather stick to a plan previously drawn up by the Ministry, whereas central governments commission a board of educational experts to devise a national curriculum. Not to mention entrusting teachers with the above mentioned responsibilities could led to an inconsistency among students nationwide as there is no universal learning programs.

In conclusion, I think subject and lesson content should stay in the hand of the governments, but educators still play a crucial role in instilling knowledge.

Answer 1

Bạn không nên dùng "On other hand" ở đoạn thứ 2.

bạn sử dụng nhiều cụm từ khá hay và sử dụng chúng rất ổn, về ngữ pháp và cách viết câu bạn hơn mình rất nhiều.

Tuy nhiên theo như mình hiểu, bạn cho rằng nên để chính phủ quyết định chương trình học, bài viết của bạn không làm nổi bật được quan điểm của bạn, nên khi đọc xong mình thấy bài viết nghiêng về bên thày cô ra chơi trình hơn.Theo quan điểm của mình, thày cô mới là những người dạy trực tiếp với học sinh nên họ sẽ có cái nhìn chủ quan hơn chính phủ, tất nhiên chính phủ xây dựng chương trình học cũng có tham khảo ý kiến của người dạy, nhưng không thể đáp ứng được tất cả các trường hợp,vì thế xây dựng chương trình khung sẽ hợp lý hơn, chính phủ nên khuyến khích thày cô xây dựng chương trình riêng, ý mình là nội dung bài học cụ thể phù hợp với khung đào tạo chung, để nâng cao chất lượng giáo dục

Trình viết của mình rất tệ nên nếu nhận xét không đúng bạn góp ý cho mình nhé

Comments

thực ra ielts writing là nơi bạn có thể thỏa sức tưởng tưởng và bày tỏ suy nghĩ miễn là không lạc đề là được nên ý tưởng không quan trọng lắm, quan trọng là cách viết, cách dùng từ và cách trình bày sao cho thuyết phục được người đọc là bạn thành công

Answer 2

There are some points I could mention abt your essay: 

- curriculum: subjects included in a course studied or taught at schoool or college, NOT the subject content (I suppose)

- It is a fact that we have every right to decide when to start or stop our schoolings but we have no control whatsoever over what we will learn. >>> the grammar here is difficult to understand.

Just my two cents. :)

Answer 3

On the other hand, it is undoubtedly hard to find such teachers nowadays. Most of them are not qualified to come up with an appropriate course of studying on their own. Many would rather stick to a plan previously drawn up by the Ministry, whereas central governments commission a board of educational experts to devise a national curriculum. Not to mention entrusting teachers with the above mentioned responsibilities could lead to an inconsistency among students nationwide as there is no universal learning programs.

 

"Personnally I think your essay is well-organised. However, the arguments given are not strong enough to support your side of the government"

Answer 4

It is a fact that we have every right to decide when to start or stop our schoolings but we have no control whatsoever over what we will learn. While some people believe this right belongs to teachers who should handle this issue, I think we would do / it would be better when we let governments do it.

On the one hand, we can easily point out a few reasons justifying why teachers should be given the task of designing curriculums or lesson content for students. Educators are those who directly interact with them so they are well-acquainted with the needs of the learners. If teachers are allowed to choose their ways of approach, this might create a more comfortable environment atmosphere in the class. Students will absolutely be the objects who get benefit from these changes. A more flexible way of learning can in turn boosting children’s creativity and fuel their interests in learning. What’s more, once teachers have become involved not only in teaching but also in charting a course for the process, they in all likelihood will apply themselves more to their works and relentlessly look into a way to improve education.

On the other hand, it is undoubtedly hard to find such teachers nowadays. Most of them are not qualified to come up with an appropriate course of studying on their own. A lot of them would rather stick into a plan previously drawn up by the Ministry, whereas central governments commission a board of educational experts to devise a national curriculum. Not to mention entrusting teachers with the above mentioned responsibilities could led to an inconsistency among students nationwide as there is no universal learning programs.

In conclusion, I think the right of designing subject curriculums and lesson contents should stay in the hand of the governments, but educators still play a crucial role in instilling knowledge.

Answer 5

It is a fact that we have every right to decide when to start or stop our schoolings but we have no control whatsoever over what we will learn. While some people believe this right belongs to teachers who should handle this issue, I think  it would be better when we let governments do it. 

On the one hand, we can easily point out a few reasons justifying why teachers should be given the task of designing curriculums or lesson content for students. Educators are those who directly interact with them so they are well-acquainted with the needs of the learners. If teachers are allowed to choose their ways of approach, this might create a more comfortable atmosphere in the class. Students will absolutely be the objects who get benefit from these changes. A more flexible way of learning can in turn boosting children’s creativity and fuel their interests in learning. What’s more, once teachers have become involved not only in teaching but also in charting a course for the process, they in all likelihood will apply themselves more to their works and relentlessly look into a way to improve education. 

On the other hand, it is undoubtedly hard to find such teachers nowadays. Most of them are not qualified to come up with an appropriate course of studying on their own. A lot of them would rather stick into a plan previously drawn up by the Ministry, whereas central governments commission a board of educational experts to devise a national curriculum. Not to mention entrusting teachers with the above mentioned responsibilities could led to an inconsistency among students nationwide as there is no universal learning programs. 

In conclusion, I think the right of designing subject curriculums and lesson contents should stay in the hand of the governments, but educators still play a crucial role in instilling knowledge.

Answer 6

tớ thấy ý tưởng bài bạn khá ổn nhưng có góp ý một chút về cách diễn đạt câu nhé  "I think we would do ->  it would be better when we let"