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1while other children were taken care of by adults: ý sai so với vế đằng trc tương tự câu who are born normally
TỪ VỰNG BẠN tốt nhưng một số từ mình ko chắc có sử dụng đúng hay ko
ngữ pháp chưa đa dạng lắm, quá nhiều câu đơn
ví dụ trong para 1 chưa sát đề lắm( ko support tốt cho ideas), do trong para 1 này bạn cần chứng minh rằng là ko phải ai đc dạy dỗ cũng trở thành good musician... đc, có thể nêu ví dụ là nhiều cầu thủ bóng đá mặc dù đc đào tạo bài bản nhưng do lười nhác vẫn ko thể trở thành những cầu thủ giỏi đc, chỉ 1 số trụ lại đc như ....
On the one hand, gifted people are much easier to become proficient in their career. They inherit qualities and abilities sooner than others. BY Taking advantage of this feature could help them develop their techniques and be wiser in the future. In particular, an Austrian musician named Mozart was regarded as a talented child. He was able to compose a music piece at the age of about 5 while other children were taken care of by adults(/, WHILE OTHER CHILDREN CAN NOT EVEN READ THE ALPHABET. Mozart, therefore, rapidly became famous and popular with many outstanding pieces of music/ HE THEREFORE BECAME A RENOWED ACTOR, AND HIS SONGS ARE EXTREMELY POPUPAR ALL OVER THE WORLD . However, there have been very few gifted people over the globe for centuries.
In contrast, specialised sportspeople or musicians will never become well known unless they are trained. It holds true not only to children born with certain talents but also to those who are born normally/WHO NOT HAVE ANY SPECIAL ABILITY. Their teachers could be their parents, their relatives or other SOME( BỎ OTHER)celebrities. These people have extreme experiences and knowledge to teach their descendants. In spite of talented techniques/DESPITE HAVING TALENTED TECHNIQUES, footballers, for instance, would not score the A game if they were not aware of strategies.
In conclusion, whether children are delivered with inborn abilities or with common faculties, they obviously have capacity to become famous sportspeople or musicians if they are taught in a good way.