In order to reduce crime

Question

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In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of education opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

 

 

Day by day, the rate of crime in the world is increasing rapidly and there are many different opinions on the best way to reduce crime. The argument that we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of education opportunities is the best way to decrease the number of crime. Analysing both sides of this argument will be analysed before a conclusion is given.

Fistly, the most of people think that the reason to commit crime is poverty. They need money to sustain their lives. Example of those offences are such as thieves, robbing, grabbing and kill for money. They do that think because they don’t have enough money to sustain their lives and their family. If only they had a job to earn money, I am sure they would not go to the extent to hurt the others to get money. Apart from that, by providing each citizens the opportunities in education, everyone will be educated. As a result, they will be rational and self sufficient enough to not commit crime. But poverty and lack of education opportunities is not only reason to commit crime. For example, some people who are very rich and have been given a lot of opportunities in life still commit crime ( not paying taxes, corruption etc.), so I don’t think focus to the cause of crime can successful reduce the rate of crime.

In addition, increasing the number of police on the street is not sufficient. They must be patrol more frequently than they are now. Consequently, people will not be bold enough to commit crime as they know they will be caught and punished. In my opinion,  if everything is carried out consistently with a lot of effort put into it, certainly the aim of diminishing the number of crimes can be achieved. 

To conclude, I do agree that in order to reduce crime, the main source of the problem should be look into. But find the way to solve that problem is the most important. Because if we found out the reason but we didn’t have any method to deal with that, the number of crime would never decrease.

Answer 1

Mình nghĩ nếu heo cấu trúc của ielts thì phần body của bạn có vấn đề, hai đoạn lệch về độ dài quá, và ý cũng ko được tách biệt rõ ràng.

Mình nghĩ hình như bạn hiểu nhầm đề gì thì phải, ý người ta là để giảm số lượng tội phạm thì cần...vì có cảnh sát và bỏ tù là chưa đủ.

mở đầu của bạn khẳng định là bạn đi 2 hướng, nhưng thân bài lại ko rõ ràng, và kết bài kiểu off topic ấy.

Answer 2

Mình tham gia cùng giải quyết đề bài này. Bạn nào ngang qua vui lòng góp ý cho bài của mình nhé.

It is regularly argued that we should have solution to the causes of crime in order to reduce the criminal which has been increased recently. This method is considered more efficient than having more police or put more people into prison. Personally, I totally agree with this argument.

On the one hand, I agree that security force and prison system have been existed for decades and are widely proven its important role in fighting crime. In many countries, it is easily to relize a police in his unifrom who is working in street and quickly has reaction if a crime incident happens. The fact is that all the countries in the world which are classessed for high ranking of safety for living have very strong police force. Whereas, prison system used to isolate criminal from outside world help to deter them from recommiting crime and rehabilitate them before coming back to normal life. Together with empowering police force, establishing a prison system is common method for treating crime which is found anywhere.

On the other hand, I believe that crime can be minized by coping with its causes in which poverty and lack of education opportunities are typical. This method is far more efficient than having more police or put people into jail since it can provide treatment to the roots of crime. Many reports on crime show that most criminals live in under minimum living standard and have no opportunity to access education. When a person living in poor condition and has no income, he would commit crimes like stealing or robbery for feeding himself. Lack of education opportunity is other major cause as a child, for example who never goes to school would not acknowlege that crime is very harmful and he may commit to crime for failing to comply with the law.

In conclusion, I am in favour that crime can be reduced by dealing with its causes, particularly poverty and lack of education opportunitye. Despite having police on street and putting people into prison are long-term existing methods, they can not be treatments to the roots of crime even if we try to increase their quantity. (360 words)