About the conflict between parents and teenagers [closed]

Question

Some people view conflict between teenagers and parents as a necessary part of growing up, while others view it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a myth that there is a generation gap between parents and teenagers, making the two sides unable to understand each other. Therefore, conflicts are getting more common in home life, which concerns many people about the negative and unpredictable consequences of those. However, some think that conflicts play a key role in children’s growth.

In a debate, each side tries to point out the other’s mistakes and give as strong support as possible. Thus, in a conflict, teenagers get a chance to recognize their merits which are pointed out by their parents. On top of that, parents can understand how their children think about them and their mental development, paving the way for easier upbringing.

Nevertheless, some say that conflicts are by no means good because it can lead to teenagers’ rebellious streak. They will get away from home unless parents find the way to prevent the escalation of the conflict. Then, under peer pressure they tend to listen to their friends more than they do to their parents. And it is serious if their friends are bad and encourage them to commit crimes.

In short, although an argument lets teenagers know how immature they are, when it turns to a conflict, the gap between parents and teenagers will be widen, resulting in wrong thoughts and actions of these adolescent individuals. It is recommended that conflicts should be lessened as much as possible by the responsibility of both parents and their children.

Answer 1

Lexical resources: 7 - 7.5

Nhiều collocations

+ peer pressure, a gap between, lead to teenagers’ rebellious streak, commit a crime

adolescent, lessen

Gramatical range: 6.5 - 7

Dùng cấu trúc it is, dùng nhiều câu phức, mệnh đề quan hệ. As much as possible. Dùng đa dạng thì. Câu điều kiện.

2 tiêu chí còn lại có thời gian mình sẽ trở lại.

Tiếp tục cố gắng nhé. Nếu thi thật và bạn biết trong 40 phút thì có thể đạt 7 - 7.5.

Best.

Comments

Cám ơn lời khen của bạn. Bạn cố gắng nhín ít thời gian để góp ý thêm cho mình nhé.

PS: cho mình hỏi ngu tí. Nếu muốn like bài góp ý của bạn thì phải làm sao ha? Trang này không có phần like như những diễn đàn khác.

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Additional good points:

By no means good

Paving the way for

Some problems

Each side tries to point out the other’s mistakes and give as strong support as possible

=> seach side [...] gives as ...

Ngoài ra về structure:

Mở bài bạn đưa ra vấn đề và thesis statement. Body performs khá tốt. Như phần kết luận mình chưa thấy Opinion của bạn. Và bạn chưa nhấn mạnh và support Opinion của mình.

Về dạng support both views. View của bạn và view còn lại. View của bạn nên well-supported hơn cái kia. Hoặc đưa ra lý do, 1 câu cũng được vì sao đó là view của bạn.

Nếu viết tốt, bạn có thể chơi cấu trúc:

Body 3 paragraphs: View A, View B, Opinion (Your choice and reason)

Còn không bạn có thể chèn Opinion và lý do vào conclusion.

Key point: Conclusion làm 2 việc chính: Restating a thesis and Sumamrizing

 

Best

Nguyen Binh Phuong