birth rates . mình mới bắt đầu tự học mong mọi người góp ý giúp mình :))

Question

 

 

 

A glance at the graph compared the birth rates in china and the usa during the period of 80 years ( 1920-2000). As can be seen , before and after the year 1950 there was a marked difference.

From 1920 to around 1950 the number of children born in china and the usa was not stable but the gap was only fractional. After a consistent down fall of both , suddenly, the two nations’ birth rates soared up and reached their own peak at 1950 ( 20% in the usa and 15% in the other).

Then the percentage of infants in usa and china exponentially declined in the next about 50 years except for a very slight growth in the vicinity of around the year 1995. Moreover ,it was a clear-cut difference that china’s birth rate was far lower than the usa’s one compared to the period before 1950.

In conclusion, the downward trend in the birth rates of these two countries seemed to continue later and the gap between them might persist.

Answer 1

A glance at the graph compared the birth rates in china and the usa during the period of 80 years ( 1920-2000). As can be seen , before and after the year 1950 there was a marked difference.

From 1920 to around 1950 the number of children born in china and the usa was not stable but the gap was only fractional ( In period from 1920 to 1950, the fertility rate of both countries are fluctuated significantly). After a consistent down fall of both , suddenly, the two nations’ birth rates soared up and reached their own peak at 1950 ( 20% in the usa and 15% in the other).

Then the percentage of infants in usa and china exponentially declined in the next about 50 years except for a very slight growth in the vicinity of around the year 1995. Moreover ,it was a clear-cut difference that china’s birth rate was far lower than the usa’s one compared to the period before 1950.

In conclusion, the downward trend in the birth rates of these two countries seemed to continue later and the gap between them might persist.

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Answer 2

Dear Ngoc Bao,

You did a good job.

I hope these suggestions good for you in terms of ameliorating your EN skills.

Some common mistakes here are that the use of article (in and at), (around = in the vicinity of x%). I must say that there is no conclusion in task 1.

You must use collocations more because sometimes you used incorrectly. Taking birth rates as an example, the number of child born does not mean the percentage.

In addition to this, only just for reading more, you need to use linking phrase before you make a swtich to another paragraph.

 

Thank you for your arduous efforts,

Dr Hung

 

Comments

many thanks many thanks :))

Answer 3

Em đang học viết tast 1 anh/chị cho e ý kiến về bài này được không ạ.

 

The line chart gives information about the percentage of  the babies beared in China and America during preiod from 1920 to 2000.

It is also worth noting that all 2 coutries have the same downward trend .

To specify, in China, there was a fluatuation around 10 % between 1920 and 1930 and then went up to 15 % in 1935. After the porpotion of birth leveled off at 5 %  during 10 years, it reach a peak of 20 % in the next 5 years. Afterwards, The number decreased dramatically to about 2 % in the end of period.

Similarly,USA has a similar pattern to China. It stared higher position than China, at 11 %. In 1945 witnessed a downward trend in rate of bith from 11 % to just under 5 %. Before there was a significant decline to 7 %, it raised sharply by 10 % in 5 years later.

Comments

Đây là góp ý của mình 

The line chart gives information about the percentage of  the babies beared in China and America preiod from 1920 to 2000.  over 80 years .It is also worth noting that all 2 In the general ,both coutries have the same downward trend .

To specify, in China, there was a fluatuation around 10 % between 1920 and 1930 and then went up to 15 % in 1935. After the porpotion of birth leveled off at 5 %  during 10 years, it reached a peak of 20 % in the next 5 years. Afterwards, The number decreased dramatically to about 2 % in the end of period  by the end of 2000

Similarly,USA has a similar pattern to China. It stared higher position than China, at 11 %. In 1945 witnessed a downward trend slightly reduction in rate of bith from 11 %   approximately one tenth to just under 5 %. Before there was a significant decline to 7 %, it raised sharply by 10 % in 5 years later.

 

 

Answer 4

The line chart gives information about the percentage of  the babies beared in China and America preiod from 1920 to 2000.  over 80 years .It is also worth noting that all 2 In the general ,both coutries have the same downward trend .

To specify, in China, there was a fluatuation around 10 % between 1920 and 1930 and then went up to 15 % in 1935. After the porpotion of birth leveled off at 5 %  during 10 years, it reached a peak of 20 % in the next 5 years. Afterwards, The number decreased dramatically to about 2 % in the end of period  by the end of 2000

Similarly,USA has a similar pattern to China. It stared higher position than China, at 11 %. In 1945 witnessed a downward trend slightly reduction in rate of bith from 11 %   approximately one tenth to just under 5 %. Before there was a significant decline to 7 %, it raised sharply by 10 % in 5 years later.