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Question

The graph below shows the changes in maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007.

The bar chart illustrates the figures in term of estimation maximum numbers of Asian remaining elephants between two years 1997 and 2004. It is highly apparent that the elephants population in 2004 become fewer than 1997 in almost given countries, and accounted for the highest quanity in India.

In 1997, approximate ten thousands elephants were measured in India, while the figure for Myanmar only was a half. Both Malaysia and Sri Lanka had the same population of elephants, exactly three thousands. In contrast, in all others shown nations except for ThaiLan, the numbers of elephants were recorded around a thousand.

Seven years after, there was rapid decline in numbers of elephants by about 2000 in three nations India, Thailand and Mylaysia. In addition, the quanity of elephants in Vietnam, Sri lanka and China tened to slightly decrease. On the other hand, Laos remained the number of elephant the same as in 1997, whereas Cobodia had a rise in those of population by nearly 200. 

Answer 1

The bar chart illustrates the figures in term of for estimation maximum numbers of Asian remaining elephants  the number of elephents living in Asia between two years over the peroid between 1997 and 2004.

Overall, there was a downward trend in the majority of elephents existing in Asia from 1997 to 2004. it is highly apparent that the elephants population in 2004 become fewer than 1997 in almost given countries, and accounted for the highest quanity in India. Moreover, India accounted for the highest share while the least is China.

Detail 1: bạn nên nói về xu hướng giảm của các nước, trong khi Campuchia tăng và Lào giữ nguyên

Over the period shown Seven years after, there was rapid decline in numbers of elephants by with  about 2000 in three nations, namely India, Thailand and Mylaysia. In addition, the quanity of elephants in Vietnam, Sri lanka and China tened to slightly decrease. On the other hand, Laos remained the number of elephant the same as in 1997, whereas Combodia had a rise in those of population by nearly 1500 by 2004.

Detail 2: bạn nên nói về nước có lượng nhiều / ít nhất, đả động qua các nước còn lại

In 1997, approximately ten thousands elephants were measured in India, while the figure for Myanmar only was a half. Both Malaysia and Sri Lanka had the same population of elephants, exactly three thousands. In contrast, in all others shown nations except for excluding ThaiLan, the numbers of elephants were recorded around about one a thousand.

(India made up the largest proportion with over 7000 elephents between 1997 and 2004, following that nation is Myanmar with the number of elephents about 5000. In contrast, the figure for 4 countries including Vietnam, China, Cambodia and Laos constituted the least at approximately 1000. The change of other nations fluctuated between 1000 and 4000 elephents)

Answer 2

The bar chart illustrates the figures in term of estimation maximum numbers of Asian remaining elephants gives information on the estimated ... between two years 1997 and 2004. It is highly apparent that the elephants population in 2004 become fewer than 1997 in almost given countries, and accounted for the highest quanity in India. (viết khó hiểu) (1 là số liệu cho thấy có sự đi xuống: the number decreases) (2 là trừ 2 thằng Lào + Cam Bốt)

In 1997, approximate (chú ý Từ Loại) ten thousands elephants were measured in India, while the figure for Myanmar only was a half (xem lại vị trí của ADV). (nối) Both Malaysia and Sri Lanka had the same populations of elephants, exactly approximately three thousands. In contrast, in all others shown nations (diễn đạt cụm này khó hiểu) except for ThaiLan, the numbers of elephants were (một con số/ một nước thì phải là số ít) recorded around a thousand. 

Seven years after (không thiếu cách diễn đạt hay hơn), there was a rapid decline in the numbers of elephants by about 2000 (ý em là giảm một lượng 2,000 cho từng nước?) in three nations of India, Thailand and Mylaysia. In addition, the quantity of elephants in Vietnam, Sri lanka and China tended to slightly decrease. On the other hand, Laos remained the number of elephant the same as in 1997, whereas Cambodia had a rise in those (ở đây chỉ có VOI => số ít) of population (chọn cụm khác, ví dụ that of Cambodia, that = the number chả hạn) by nearly 200.

Comments

Anh hạng nhất góp ý giùm em cái  bài cùng thể loại như trên này đc không... Em tải ảnh lên không đc vì thiếu đường dẫn gì ấy nên không tự đăng bài được ( coi như bó tay).. Năm nay em lớp 10 nên có gì sai sót anh sửa giúp em và cho em hỏi bài này band mấy nhé:

The bar chart demonstrates the maximum amount of elephants counted in nine Asian countries in the time 1997 and 2004.Overall, it can be seen clearly that there were less as the previous kind of animal in 2004 as in 1997 in most of the countries and the number of India’s elephant is the highest in total.

As can be shown seemingly, in 1997, nine countries can be divided into two different groups: one has the amount of elephants more than 3000 and another one own elephants less than 2000.It is apparent in the first group that the total elephants living in India were nearly 10.000, over three times compared to 3000 of Malaysia and Sri Lanka , while Myanmar and Thailand were a mere at around 5000 and 3700.In contrast ,the second group accounted for the same small amount of elephants of about 1000 ,including three ASEAN countries (Vietnam ,Laos and Cambodia)  and China.

Turning to the 21th century, the majority of Asian countries experienced a significant fall of elephants in seven years latter .To be more precise, while India saw an approximately decrease of 20% in the portion of elephants which was at around 7500, two in three elephants living in Malaysia declined considerably from 3000 to 1000.Although Cambodia was the only place where elephants could grow and reached about 1500 in 2004, the neighbor of it is Laos remained steadily  and the remained countries had the less small amount of elephants.

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Em ấn chuột phải vào ảnh của bài này là có đường link luôn, chỗ Copy Link Location ấy. Không thì save ảnh xuống, tự up lên trang upanh.biz.

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Whoa,,, hay quá... cảm ơn bạn nhé.... mình post rồi

Answer 3

Anh/ chị giúp em nhận xét những lỗi sai trong bài này với ạ. Em cảm ơn

The bar chart gives information about the number of elephants in Asia in 1997 and 2004.

It is also worth noting that these nations are divided 3 groups included : upward, downward and unchange.

To specify, the first group namely, VietNam, India, Malaisia, Sri Lanka, Myanmar, Thailand and China, in which India, Malaisia, Thailand the volume of elephants droped  the largest about 2000 .In 1997, about 10000 elephant lives in India, whereas Myanmar only was a half . With over 7000 elephant in 2004 , India set up the largest number . The figure for 4 coutries included : Vietnam, Sri Lanka, Myanmar and China falled a little bit. The statics of Myanmar was over 1,5 time higher than Sri Lanka and 5 time higher than Viet Nam as well as China. China made up the lowest number with about 2000 elephant in 2004.

In contrast, while Cambodi saw quite different, there was slightly increase nearly 1200 elephant ,Laos unchaged just over 1000 elephants in 1997 and 2004.