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Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time. Others believe that it is more improtant to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In many countries today, the number of people has been increased more and more. If people cannot find places to live it is a huge worry for them. So they will not care about the quality of their housing, they just need somewhere to live. I think that the demand for accommodation has risen quickly, it depends on population density.

I see that many builidings were carefully designed in the past, because external appearance was important with their. However, they want have an interesting house, they gotta pay a lot of money about materials, designs and hired constructions, … ; moreover, they will lost plenty of time to complete their  accommodation. When the house was not built carelessly, people will have a safe life. With this reason, some people think that homes today should be built more careful.

Actually, poor people could not think it is true. Some types of building materials are more expensive than others and architects are not also cheap if they use them. The most accommodation popular is flat in apartment blocks with simple design and people can choose an apartment suitable for their financial. On the other hand, it also has basic disadvantage, for example: both facilities and infrastructures of flats rapidly degraded, because the damand find accommodation more and more so builders have to speed up the fastest complete their construction if they can. As a result, they cannot avoid mistakes and carelessness while working.

To sum up, I think that all views are relevant. Not only the homes must be well built to ensure about safely, but it should also reasonable prices for people who need it.

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In many countries today, the number of people has been increased more and more. If people cannot find places to live it is a huge worry for them. So they will not care about the quality of their housing, they just need somewhere to live. I think that the demand for accommodation has risen quickly, it depends on population density.

I see that many builidings were carefully designed in the past, because external appearance was important with their. However, they want have an interesting house, they gotta pay a lot of money about materials, designs and hired constructions, … ; moreover, they will lost plenty of time to complete their  accommodation. When the house was not built carelessly, people will have a safe life. With this reason, some people think that homes today should be built more careful.

Actually, poor people could not think it is true. Some types of building materials are more expensive than others and architects are not also cheap if they use them. The most accommodation popular is flat in apartment blocks with simple design and people can choose an apartment suitable for their financial. On the other hand, it also has basic disadvantage, for example: both facilities and infrastructures of flats rapidly degraded, because the damand find accommodation more and more so builders have to speed up the fastest complete their construction if they can. As a result, they cannot avoid mistakes and carelessness while working.

To sum up, I think that all views are relevant. Not only the homes must be well built to ensure about safely, but it should also reasonable prices for people who need it.

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It is hard for me to judge this essay.

Your outline is not clear so I, or others will, have a hard time catching your drift. Actually, I do not fully understand what you want to communicate. Next time, you should make a complete and clear outline to present your ideas. It is of utmost importance to structure your writing as the what the readers get out of your work depends a lot on it.

The sections I marked in red are your errors. Such errors fall into these categories: grammar (wrong tense construction, misuse of punctuation, vocabulary (word formation, spelling, collocation, verb agreement, colloquial language in place of academic language, which is essential to use in IELTS academic writing and failure in expression.

You can take time to look into those errors to make amendments to your work. Though I do not have much time to spare now, but if you wish, I could give suggestions as to how you could improve the wording as well as the general content.

Good luck!

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2 Comments

E cảm ơn a rất nhiều ạ! Thật sự là e tự học nên gặp rất nhiều vấn đề khó khăn. Mục tiêu thi ielts của e chỉ đặt ở mức 4.0 - 4.5, e nghĩ mức điểm đó khó đạt được với thực lực của e hiện nay. E hi vọng a có thể giúp đỡ cho e khi a có thời gian rãnh. Cảm ơn a một lần nữa.
Ừ, không có gì đâu bạn :D Bạn cần giúp đỡ thì có lẽ cứ viết lên tường mình nhé, khi nào có thời gian thì mình xem qua. Còn viết thì bạn cứ up lên đây, mình thấy thì sẽ tham gia chữa tiếp. Chào bạn.

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