Task 2 IELTS, mong mọi người vào ghóp ý cho mình

Question

“Working condition will be much better in the future since everything will be controlled by computers. A lot more people will be working from home, communicating with their office and other colleagues via their computers.”

 

In today’s world, conditions play a vital role in working efficiency. As a consequence, many of the most contentious debates in the areas of employment have revolved around the issue of whether computers pave the way for better working standards. From my perspective, I broadly agree with the aforementioned viewpoint on the following grounds.

 

Firstly, it must be recognized that with the help of high-tech, working becomes more comfortable and convenient, especially at home. As a matter of fact, no longer do commuters have to sit on the train, waiting with boredom till they arrive at their workplace. Instead, by means of computers, workers can now send e-mails, attend a formal meeting and lie on the beach at the same time. Besides, a computer-based working system will mean more security and privacy, with less undesirable interruption from other employees. In other words, everyone has the chance to focus on their own tasks more effectively.

 

One additional reason why computers is helpful in enhancing working environment is that cyberspace can be a huge database in which people can store almost anything related to their work at a click of the mouse. Indeed, computers also help solve the problem of illegible handwriting or disorganized data. And in the case of collaboration, online communications will do a good job of connecting workers for work purposes, preventing gossips as much as possible.

 

It would be the height of folly, however, not to mention some drawbacks of computers. For one thing, virus and cyber-hackers can do great harm to a company in terms of data such as contracts, private information and the like. For another thing, it would be rather difficult for poor employees to afford high-tech devices, which, consequently, can in part limit their working capacity and productivity. And were there any systematic problems with computers, not much data could be successfully recovered. In a broader sense, working conditions are to be improved by computers, yet these improvements are not so considerable incomparison with the risks computers may bring in.

 

Taking everything into account, it deserves to be acknowledged that computer is a positive contributor to the effectiveness of working conditions. Nevertheless, everything is paralleled with its downsides and computer is not an exception. As a result, the use of computers should be taken seriously in order to assure the promised outcomes.

 

Answer 1

It is true that riding a biclycle is not prevalent among many people around the world although cycling is a better way to mitigate environmental contamination than other types of transport.Reasons for this vary, and steps need to be taken to promote the useage of bicycles.

I think that the first sentence which you used "better... than" structure is not correct. Because when you used "a better way" that is a noun, so it cannot connect with "than" . That means you should change a bit, for example "....rather than other types of transport".

"Reasons for this vary" does not make sense and impolite, maybe that should be changed in this way "reasons for this phenomenon will be discussed in this essay and resolutions need to be pointed out to promote the usage of bicycles".

To begin with, there are several reasons why few people use bicycles on a regular basis. 

few people regularly use bicyckes

 Firstly, these days people is often busier than before   ever. Many people have to take responsibility for a mountain of work at their working places; therefore, they want to spend less time on transport as much as possible.

This obviously causes  this is a dominant reason lead them to choose motor vehicles such as motorbikes or cars. 

 Another justification for this problem Another supportive explanation for the phemomenon is that today a number of people lead possess a sedentery lifestyle. 

Using bicycles consumes more energy than   needs more physical demand than  other types of transport, which deters people from choosing this means of transport. 

Firstly, the government should conduct  organize or held  suitable campaigns to raise public awareness of the detrimental  beneficial effects of motor vehicles bicycles on the environment.

thus people cycling can move faster than using the lanes of other types of transport.

thus, cyclists might move easier and faster on such lanes.

Finally, the government can impose heavy taxes on cars and motorbikes, so people will think carefully (excogitate) before buying ones.

In conclusion, the increase in using this environmental friendly vehicle is intractable, andsolutions are available to mitigate the problem. this part of the sentence does not make sense, you should re-wirte this conclusion.

hoping this is useful for you.