Tập viết Task 1 - UK telephone calls, mong mọi người giúp đỡ

Question

The column chart illustrates how people used telephone in the UK through 3 types of telephone calls over the period from 1995 to 2002.

Overall, it is evident that calls made by local – fixed line were always the most popular in the UK although it remained relatively unchanged during the period shown. Meanwhile, the two other kinds of telephone calls both experienced significant increases.

Rising from just over 70 in 1995 to peak at nearly 90 billion minutes in 1999, the number of local – fixed line dropped to a level as it began. However, this kind of telephone calls was still the highest in the UK.

On the other hand, time spending on national and international – fixed line began at just over 35 billion minutes, which was approximately 40 billion minutes higher and considerably greater than local – fixed line and mobiles, respectively. This was followed by a substantial increase, with reaching to a little over 70 billion minutes. Meanwhile, there was an enormous and sharp growth from a minimal figure in 1995 to reach a high of approximately 45 billion minutes. 

Answer 1

"Rising from just over 70 in 1995 to peak at nearly 90 billion minutes in 1999, the number of local – fixed line dropped to a level as it began. However, this kind of telephone calls was still the highest in the UK." sửa thành "From just over 70 in 1995, the number of local - fixed line increased moderately and peaked at nearly 90 billion minutes in 1999, before dropping to its original level" nhưng mình thấy hơi dài :(

"time spending" thành "time spent"

"This was followed by a substantial increase, with reaching to a little over 70 billion minutes" bỏ "with" đi

"Meanwhile, there was an enormous and sharp growth from a minimal figure in 1995 to reach a high of approximately 45 billion minutes." bỏ "reach a high of " đi

http://scholarshipplanet.info/check/4796/task-1-bar-chart