More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. Cause of this and solutions? [closed]

Question

Nowadays when the society is developping rapidly, there a increase of claims that modern work style make people stressful. This essay will present some reasons of this problem and provide measures to avoid it.

First of all, in these days almost all of the works requites strong competitive skill. Therefore, people are always under high pressure. As consequent, they have to pull out all of the stop to deal with their duty in work, and this obviously make them stressful. Another posible reason is that people do not have enough time to relax, even to sleep. There are enomous things to do, so they have to leave house early, while their children are still sleeping, in oder to avoid traffic problem and get to work on time. They come back home exautedly at the end of the day, when every one has already sleeped. Consecuently, lack of time to relax is certaily a reason of stress.

One of ways to resolve the mentioned problem is that people should be well prepared not only knowleagment, but also psicologycaly. By doing this, they will work more efficiently and know how to deal with the pressure. Another posible measure could be that companies should organize travel to recreative place such as beach for emploies and their family. As result, their emploies could hace enjoyable time to relax with their family.

In conclution, there are evident reasons of stress in modern work patterns but some solutions to combat with it are also available.

Answer 1

Mình trả lễ bạn nhé , sửa theo í của mình.

  Nowadays, with the rapid development of society, the modern work styles associate with a high level of stress. It is important to identify the causes of the problem in order to propose appropriate solutions for it. (Cá nhân mình ko thích kiểu câu 'this essay...' nghe nó hơi máy móc)

   There are several possible reasons why works are appearing to be more stressful nowadays (thêm headline cho dễ hiễu). First of all, almost all types of jobs require strong competitive skills. They have to put an enormous effort, both physcally and mentally, in order to catch up their daily workload, and stay competitive against other employees. Therefore, people are always under high pressure. Additionally, people do not have enough time to attend to their personal needs. There are plenty of things to do at work, so people have to arrive their workplace early and finish late at night. They come back home exhaustedly at the end of the day, when every one else has already gone to bed. Lack of time to rest is certainly a source of stress.

One of the ways to solve the problem is that people should be well prepared not only knowledge knowleagment, but also psicologycaly. By doing this, they will work more efficiently and know how to deal with the pressure. Another possible measure could be that companies should organize travel to recreative place such as beach for emploies and their family. As result, their employees could have enjoyable time to relax with their family. (Phần này bạn nên triển khai í ra thêm)

In conclusion, some causes for stress in modern work can identified, however some solutions are also available.

Comments

cảm ơn bạn nhiều nhé! bài sửa của bạn giúp mình "mở mắt" ra nhìu!!!!

Answer 2

Mình góp ý vài lỗi chính tả thôi. Thực ra lỗi chính tả của từ và ngữ pháp trong bài này rất nhiều, không sửa hết được. Khi viết xong bạn dùng tính năng Spelling & grammar trong Word sẽ hỗ trợ lỗi chính tả nhiều lắm.

Nowadays when the society is developping rapidly, there is an increase of claims that modern work style makes people stressful. This essay will present some reasons of this problem and provide measures to avoid it propose solutions.

First of all, in these days almost all of the works requites require strong competitive skills. Therefore, people are always under high pressure. As a consequence consequent, they have to pull out all of the stop to deal with their duty in work, and this obviously make them stressful. Another posible possible reason is that people do not have enough time to relax, even to sleep. There are enomous things to do, so they have to leave house early, while their children are still sleeping, in oder to avoid traffic problem jam and get to work on time. They come back home exautedly exhaustedly at the end of the day, when every one has already slept sleeped. Consecuently Consequently, lack of time to relax is certaily a reason of stress.

One of ways to resolve the mentioned problem is that people should be well prepared not only knowledge knowleagment, but also psicologycaly. By doing this, they will work more efficiently and know how to deal with the pressure. Another possible measure could be that companies should organize travel to recreative place such as beach for emploies and their family. As result, their employees could have enjoyable time to relax with their family.

In conclusion conclution, there are evident reasons of stress in modern work patterns but some solutions to combat with it are also available.

 

Comments

cảm ơn bạn Jolie rất nhiều. do máy tính của mình cài word ko có bản quyền nên giờ ko bật được phần chỉnh sửa ngữ pháp lên! mong bạn tiếp tục giúp đỡ mình!

Answer 3

I have read your essay and I have some comments for you.

The good point: your essay is well balance in writing and you also show your ideas in each paragraph. Besides, you have ansewered the question.

However, you have double weak poit following:

1. In your essay, there are a lot of mistake in spelling work such as: requites - requires; exautedly - exhaustedly, Consecuently - consequently, ...

2. Format of both two paragraphs is the same, and in each paragraph you do not write a topic sentence to concentrate or focus for paragraph.

Good luck in the next essay.

Comments

thank you very much, phamvanvien2004, your comments are so useful. spelling and granmar are my biggest problems. thanks again!