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Topic: increasing travel between countries enable people to learn different cultures or to increase tension between people from different countries?

          Today, there is a diversity of opposite attitudes to international travel between other countries. Many people believe that the huge amount of tourists in recent years dramatically increase to promote their understanding on mutual cultural background; instead of promoting local hostility against visitors. In my view, I believe that the development of tourist industry plays a role in both economic integration and exchangeable cultural.

          The first reason why the international travels would never bring the conflict is based on in the fact that both visitors and local are economically motivated. International travel opens up the opportunity for business throughout the world, it also brings large amount of income into a local economy in the form of payment for goods and services.  The industry sector of  Vietnam is an example at the present time is benefitting from tourism, it is through the service industries include transportation services, hospitality services and entertainment venues, this is in addition to goods bought by tourists, including souvenirs clothing and other supplies.

          Apart from the practical concerns expressed above, I also believe that the upsurge in new arrivals make a great contribution to exchange of cultural. This means that it is important that tourist understand on mutual cultural background; therefore, the government should encourage inhabitant to interact closely with foreign tourist, in addition the view of share is a necessary co-operation and globalization of different countries. Many visitors from oversea countries who spend duration visiting on others countries, and the knowledge which is shared by them is really useful. For instance, In England where vehicles go the left of road, or In Japan people greet each other by bowing.

          On balance, according the above analysis, the sudden rise in the international travel should not take as the cause of any conflict, besides authority should find the balance between tourism development and cultural exchange.
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Bạn ơi, trước tiên bạn đọc thật kỹ câu hỏi, sau đó bạn sẽ thấy:

to learn different cultures to increase tension là 2 ý chính cần thể hiện trong bài. Liên quan gì tới economic integration? Ở trong body 1 bạn có đưa ra lập luận, nhưng đã là quá muộn. Bạn phải trả lời được câu hỏi của đề bài ngay trong thesis statement ở mở bài.

Hơn nữa lập luận của bạn ở Body 1 cũng không đủ sức thuyết phục, mình sẽ chấm đoạn đó là irrelevant.

Vậy nếu xét bài này theo dạng chỉ partially address the question, thì bạn sẽ không được quá 5.5-6.0 cho bài này.

 

Chúc bạn thành công

 

Tú Phạm IPP IELTS

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3 Comments

Cảm ơn c hii..:x được tận 5.5 cơ ạ @@... mừng quá, cách đây 3 4 bài trước chị kia chấm cho tớ.bảo viết bài ntn ko nổi 4.0 :((

Alice ơi, đấy là không quá. Ý là nếu mắc lỗi này thì dù phần sau em làm tốt tới đâu cũng không được quá 5.5-6.0. Còn phần sau thì IPP chưa đọc kỹ để chấm điểm cụ thể.

 

Nhưng nhìn qua thì chắc chắn không thấp như 4.0 đâu em ;) Tự tin lên bạn nhé.

vâng ợ.. cảm ơn Anh thêm lần nữa..:3 cái bài này viết bị lệch đề thật ạ..cố lên, bh sửa được cái lỗi viết ko ai thèm hiểu rồi :v

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