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Question

Task 1:

The two maps show how the campus university changed before and after the building of some frameworks in 1978 and 2010

Overall, the whole dimension of the campus which wasn’t changed but each area was expanded or transferred to the other  had gradually  stable transition

In 2010, in the west of the map, outside activities were added into sport field. Look at the east, tree area was used to expand car park which was about 4 times higher than the old location of carpark in 1978. Cheater centre was shifted xxx building with bigger field. The second branch of main road would lead to science building that was built to displace for two centres of cheater and music before. Especially, one more line was opened to go to the library area where it was divided one third dimensions for construction IT centre. Planting trees in the south of the campus was completely appropriated to create airy atmosphere in three common place where students moved a lot.

In 2020, the layout of school campus should replace the study area  becoming science building to make convenient in moving of student’s activities. Besides library also should be shared as equal as area like IT centre to adapt for studying of students.

 

Task 2:

Some people think that famous people should take part in international campaign to raise more important of problem. In contrast, the others see that  the campaign events just make problem less. In my point of view, I support celebrates should held to receive help from the public

In the one hand, the famous people who have high reputation can impact to many people in the society strongly. Because they exactly mirror for all of their fans following and Every their actives always is supported . Therefore they can organize donation fund easily by selling their old clothes or stuffs  for fans. Even more that many fan’s clubs build up these organizations named by famous people’s name. Besides, when they attend that events, mass media always delivery news through fast approached tool with the public. for example: television, newspaper and so on.

In the other hand, there are many events which make campaigns clumsy. Albeit many actors, singers, hot girls and so on  impart in but they don’t know why they come that events as well as what they need to do for that. They just come to get pay attention from the society although they had many scandals after. There is not assistance that just waste much money. This number of money could help for the poor children, patient, homeless. For instance : one famous model who with big scandals in my country usually is invited in the donation programs. but she just comes there to take a selfie picture to up load on the internet to show off with others about her luxurious clothing or beautiful make-up. That’s so funny

Anyway, the ceremonies with joining of famous people always is assisted partly from public than the other ways if it has real goal.

 

Answer 1

The two maps show how the campus university campus changed before and after the building of some frameworks in 1978 and 2010.

Overall, the whole dimension of the campus which wasn’t changed, but each area was expanded or transferred to anthe other place,  had gradually, in a  stable transition.

In 2010, oin the west of the map, outside activities were added into the sport field. Look ating to the east, a tree area was used to expand the car park, which was about 4 times higher than the old location of the carpark in 1978. The Ctheater centre was shifted to the xxx building with a bigger field. The second branch of the main road would lead to the science building that was built to displace forin place of the two centres,tof cheater and music, before. EspeciallyAdditionally, one more line was opened to go to the library area where it was divided one third one third of the dimensions were separated for the construction of the IT centre. Planting trees in the south of the campus was completely appropriated to create an airy atmosphere in three common places where students moved a lot.

 

Comments

In 2020, the layout of school campus should replace the study area with the  becoming science building to make it more convenient in moving the movement of student’s’ activities. Besides, the library also should be shared as with equal as area like as the IT centre, to adapt for the studying of students.

Góp ý:

-       Xác định danh từ ghép: đâu là danh từ chính ( University campus chứ không phải “campus university)

-       Xem lại cách sử dụng mạo từ the/ a/ an trong câu (phần này bị mắc nhiều lỗi nhất trong cả bài). E.g: the car park, the library, the studying of students, the construction for the IT center.

-       Cấu trúc Make it + adj

-       Divide something into something, nếu dùng bị động, phải viết là it is/ was divided into ….

ð  Thay thế bằng động từ separate

One third of the dimensions were separated for the construction of the IT center.

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Some people think that famous people should take part in international campaigns to raise more awareness of important of problems. In contrast, the others see that the campaign events just make problem less important. In my point of view, I support that celebritiesates should help with campaignsd to receive more help from the public.

OIn the one hand, the famous people who have high well-known reputations can impact to many people in the society strongly. Their fans follow everything they do and imitate them. Because they exactly mirror for all of their fans following and Every their actives always is supported. Therefore they can organize donation funds easily by selling their old clothes or stuffs for fans. Even more that, many fan’s clubs build up these organizations named by famous people’s namefor famous people. Besides, when they attend that events, mass media always deliversy news through fast approached tool withquickly to the public. Ffor example: by television, newspaper and so on.

 

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OIn the other hand, there are many events which make campaigns clumsy. MAlbeit many actors, singers, hot girls and soand famous peopleon  impart take part in in  events but they don’t know why they come thatare there events as well as what they need to do for that. They just come to get pay attention from the society although they haved many scandals after. There is notThey do not give assistance; theyat just waste much money. This number amount of money could help for the poor children, patients, homeless. For instance: one famous model who with big scandals in my country usually is invited toin the donation programs,. but she just comes there to take a selfie picture to upload on the internet to show off with to others about her luxurious clothing or beautiful make-up. That’s so funny.

Anyway, the ceremonies that with joiningof famous people are always is assisted partly from by thepublic, more than the other ways if it has a real goal.

Task achievement: 4

Coherence and cohesion: 4.5

Lexical resource: 4.5

Grammatical range and accuracy: 5

-       Bài viết có idea tốt nhưng bài viết cũng mắc nhiều lỗi sai nghiêm trọng về mặt ngữ pháp và diễn đạt, từ ngữ dùng chưa formal và chưa đúng với văn phong văn viết

-       Cần chú ý cách dùng từ diễn đạt theo cấu trúc câu, theo cụm từ, tránh ghép nối các từ bất kì lại để tạo thành câu.

-       A number of + danh từ đếm được

An amount of + danh từ không đếm được.