Bài IELTS task 2: In many big cities in the world, the quality of life is decreasing. What are the causes and solutions for this?
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According to many opinions, the quality of human's life in many big cities in the world is decreasing. In some aspects I agree but totally I don't.

Firstly, I will say the reasons why I agree that the quality of human's life is decreasing. Along with the industrialization and modernization, a thousand of factories, industrials, big and high buildings were built. It means that when this factories, industrials,...work It will generate a large amount of waste, It's one of factors that make environmental pollution more severe, which severely effected to the human's health. Further more, many cities don't have enough green trees to make air more freshly It's also not good for health of people, in both mentality and physicality . On the other hand, science and technology also strongly development, appearence of many kinds of smartphone, computer, social network like facebook, twistter,... which leads to reduce of communicate among people. They've just next to their phones, their computers, their friends in social network but not talk to the person who next to them. It makes the relative among people worsen. Of course, after all that quality of them can not good as well.

As I said before, everything always have two sides of it, Industrialization and modernization can lead to environment pollution but if we manage closely the waste and good handle before discharge it to environment will help the invironment cleaner and less contamination. When have the supporting of machines, people will spend less labor than before but productility is even higher. It makes quality of life increasing.

After analyzing both points of view, I think that it's really hard to say the human quality is decreasing or increasing. But, people need to know that everything they did, they do, they will do always effect to their life. So, protect environment, protect others is also the protection yourself.
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2 Answers

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- Theo mình bạn bị lạc đề, đề không yêu cầu bạn đưa quan điểm là đồng ý hay không đồng ý. Vấn đề "the quality of life in big cities is decreasing" là vấn đề được đặt ra dù bạn có đồng ý hay không. Việc của bạn là kể ra nguyên nhân và cách khắc phục.

- Về cách sử dụng từ: phần intro bạn chưa được điểm do lặp lại đúng ý của câu hỏi

từ "industrial" bạn dùng như một danh từ là sai

từ "communicate" bạn dùng ở đây không phù hợp lắm, có thể dùng "interact"

"environment pollution" phải là "environmental pollution"

"the protection yourself" --> the protection of yourself"
 

 

 

 

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1 vote
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- Mình nghĩ là bạn chưa nắm được dạng bài. Vì dạng Problems-Solutions không hỏi bạn đồng ý hay không mà người ta chỉ rõ sẵn là nó như vậy rồi, bạn chỉ nên nói đến nguyên nhân xảy ra và cách giải quyết thôi.

- Bạn chưa sử dụng cụm từ để nối ý giữa các đoạn nhiều như "Another reason might be ... "

- Một số lỗi ngữ pháp cơ bản như nên dùng "therefore" sau dấu chấm chứ không nên dùng "so" lắm. "Protecting the environment" chứ không phải "protect environment" ....

- Chúc bạn cải thiện sớm!

Thân
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