IELTS task 2

Question

Hello everyone. My name is Phượng. I'm a new one  and trying to practice writing, expecially for ielts wiriting. Here is my first types and I hope that many of you will give me advices for next time.

The question is :" the best way for governments to solve the problem of traffic congestion is providing free public transport in 24hours per day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My answer is:

Nowaday traffic jams occur too frequenly that nagatively affect to our feeling and make us so tired within. Serving a public transport system should be a good idea for government in order to solve the congestion problem.

In morden life, people use their own vihicles such car or motobike for moving places a severse strain on cities's traffic. If many of them use the public vihicles like buses or traines, we can reduce the scope of vihicles in the road that lead traffic jam induce in the extent and the level.

The government should enhance the efficience of public transport system by encuraging people use them. First, they could improve the quality of the system and make it convinient like providing more buses, installing more somfortable seat in the waiting area and training the bus drivers and servants are being nice. After that, we should educate people about the additional benefits of using public transport like reducing air emission and dust and saving petrol energy. But we should not let the buses run overnight due to it is time to sleep and the wiling to move is quite low. Instead we should keep the buses run late when so many people still in the street.

In conclusion, providing public transort could reduc the traffic congestion. The government should use them effectively and encourage the citizen use them more.

Answer 1

Tớ nghĩ bài viết của bạn hơi ngắn, còn nhiều lỗi chính tả. Bạn có thể thêm supporting ideas và ví dụ để làm cho bài viết của mình thuyết phục hơn. Ví dụ:

In morden life, people use their own vihicles such car or motobike for moving places a severse strain on cities's traffic. -> chỗ này tớ nghĩ bạn nên đề cập thêm việc đó sẽ gây ra hậu quả như thế nào (ô nhiễm môi trường, tắc đường, v.v.)

Ngoài ra tớ xin góp ý một số chỗ sau:

that nagatively affect to our feeling and make us so tired within -> that affect negatively to our mental and physical health

cities's traffic -> cities' traffic

training the bus drivers and servants are being nice -> to be more professional

But we should not let the buses run overnight due to it is time to sleep and the wiling to move is quite low. Instead we should keep the buses run late when so many people still in the street. -> 2 câu này t thấy cần phải diễn đạt lại :'(

cảm ơn bạn. cùng góp ý cho bài viết của tớ nhé

Comments

Cảm ơn bạn nhé. Đã rất lâu rồi tớ không viết mà vốn từ của tớ thì cực là kém luôn. giờ tớ bắt đầu mò mẫm tự học tiếng anh ah. :3

Answer 2

Nên check chính tả cẩn thận cho bài viết.

nagatively affect to our feeling and make us so tired within ==> annoy and stress us a lot