Please help me :( đề 25/10

Question

Building a career has long been concerned by all people, especially the youth. Some people hold the view that the pleasure from working is much more crucial than job security. However, others are of the opinion that a stable job is essential, and people should not hope to have joy from working. I think both of view are justified. The purpose of this essay is to analyze two views above in dept.

To begin with, it seems that the first view is rather convincing. Frist of all, obviously, for most people, job satisfaction is a factor happiness. For instance, if people do a job with passion and enthusiasm, they will work more effectively and make full use of their potential and ability. This means that all of them can contribute valuable things such as knowledge to the society. Besides, imagining what happens if people having to work without excitement. It is obvious that they may feel stuck, and for them, working is a burden because time seems to pass by slowly. Nevertheless, not all people hold the same point of view.

As regards the second view, it is generally held that this view is right in some cases. Firstly, earning money is much more vital than having the pleasure from working. For example, some people being new graduate students need to start to build their career for paying the cost of living and gaining experience. Therefore, the sense of job satisfaction is not necessary to bother for them at that moment. Secondly, in the fast changing world today, evidence shows that the rate of unemployment is rocket steadily, and there are some difficulties in the economy. As a consequence, it is extremely lucky for those having stable job. Finally, people wanting to have a permanent career are not ambitious and dynamic in their part of life. Viet Nam is an example to illustrate for this point, for there are not pressure and threat of losing jobs.

In conclusion, both job satisfaction and stable career are extremely crucial. However, the most important thing is no matter what people do as long as it can bring happiness for them.

Answer 1

Building a career has long been concerned by all people, especially the youth. Some people hold the view that the pleasure from working is much more crucial than job security. However, others are of the opinion that a stable job is essential, and people should not hope to have joy from working. I think both of view (views) are justified. The purpose of this essay is to analyze two views (two sides of view) above in dept.

To begin with, it seems that the first view is rather convincing. Frist(first) of all, obviously, for most people, job satisfaction is a factor happiness(a factor of happiness). For instance, if people do a job (work) with passion and enthusiasm, they will work more effectively and make full use of their potential and ability. This(it) means that all of them can contribute valuable things (categories) (,)such as(,) knowledge to the society. Besides, imagining what happens if people having to work without excitement (not clear). It is obvious that they may feel stuck, and for them, working is a burden because time seems to pass by slowly. Nevertheless, not all people hold the same point of view (not essential)

As regards the second view, it is generally held that this view is right in some cases. Firstly, earning money is much more vital (crucial) than having the pleasure from working(job fulfillment). For example, some people being(có thể bỏ đi) new graduate students need to start to build their career for paying the cost of living and gaining experience. Therefore, the sense of job satisfaction is not necessary to bother for them at that moment. Secondly, in the fast changing world today, evidence shows that the rate of unemployment is rocket steadily, and there are some difficulties in the economy. As a consequence, it is extremely lucky (fortunate) for those having stable job. Finally, people wanting to have a permanent career are not ambitious and dynamic in their part of life. Viet Nam is an example to illustrate for this point, for there are not pressure and threat of losing jobs.

In conclusion, both job satisfaction and stable career are extremely crucial. However, the most important thing is no matter what people do as long as it can bring happiness for them.

Your structure is easy to understand, your linking words are clear and. But, there are some mistakes and my suggestion can be helpful, hopefully. Actually, your problem is vocabulary, a lot of common word. So, you should have a dictionary (oxford, Cambridge…). Before you write a common word on your essay, you can search the word have same meaning in dictionary (paraphrasing methods).