Nhờ mọi người sửa giùm em bài Writing task 1 này với ạ. Và với bài viết này thì điểm của em sẽ là cỡ bao nhiêu thế ạ? Em xin cảm ơn nhiều ạ!

Question

https://www.ieltsessaybank.com/percentage-of-male-and-female-teachers-in-six-different-types/ (Đề bài là ảnh nằm trong link này nhé ạ! Tại em không rõ cách tải ảnh).

Còn đây là bài làm của em ạ:

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of gender distribution teaching in six types of education in Britain in 2010.

 

In general, it is obvious that the three lowest educational settings had the number of female teachers bigger than male, whereas female teachers were fewer than male in the last two level settings.

 

Women taught in nursery/pre-school and primary school accounted for a high percentage, nearly 100% respectively. The university group had the lowest proportion of female teachers, about 30%.

 

On the other hand, male teachers taught in nursery/pre-school and primary level were the lowest, which were not more than 10%. However, this gender group outnumbered the women group in the field of the private training institute, approximately 60%, and got the highest percentage in university, at 70% v.s 50% in the female group. The percentage of male teachers was as much as female teachers in the college level, at 50%.