Mọi người chữa giúp em với ạ, điểm writing của em cứ 6.0 mãi huhu, em cảm ơn mọi người rất nhiều ạ [closed]

Question

To address the ever-increasing population, some people propose that we should look into migrating human to other planets while others argue that solutions should be right on Earth.

Discuss both views and give opinion.

People have differing views of whether they should migrate humans to other planets in order to solve the ever-increasing population. In my opinion, both measures have their own perks, but I prefer to have solutions on Earth.

There are various reasons why people want to bring humans to other planets. They may assert that the way of migrating people to another planet can help address the problems of pollution and lack of residential areas for people to live. I believe that this is a possible way to solve the problem, as this will provide people with a new environment so that they might build another Earth on that planet. Moreover, they can utilize modern technology and many policies to apply to the new planet, make it such a better planet and become a new home for humans.

In spite of these arguments, addressing this situation on Earth would be much easier. First, scientists don’t have to find and research if there will be any surviving signal on that planet. They would have to make sure that there is the ability for humans to live, such as oxygen, electricity, nature, and so on. Second, governments can make a policy of having one to two children in each household so as to eliminate the possibility of overpopulation. Since then, parents have had to control their sexual desire to follow the policy. As if all problems are caused by human activities, people should find solutions from the root of the problems. 

In summary, although both ways of tackling the situation have merits and demerits, I personally prefer to come up with solutions on Earth.

 

Answer 1

mình nhớ thầy mình bảo merits với demerits hạn chế dùng trong writing. Với cả k có đề nên mn khó góp ý hơn đó b

Comments

b có thể dùng notwithstanding để thay thế in spite of để tăng 1 chút, thay vì dùng find có thể dùng seek, make a policy thì dùng introduce the new agressive appoach/ policy.
Theo mình nghĩ là body 2 nên nhấn mạnh cái điều kiện và tính khả thi của những giải pháp ở trái đất chứ k phân tích solution đó ntn

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Mình có comment đề ở phần góp ý á, bạn có thấy hong ạ T.T :((( lúc mình đăng lên mình quên kẹp đề vào huhu

Answer 2

To address the ever-increasing population, some people propose that we should look into migrating human to other planets while others argue that solutions should be right on Earth.
Discuss both views and give opinion.

P/S: Em xin phép bổ sung đề bài ạ T.T