(Writing task 1-test 1 của Cambridge 15 ạ.) The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

Question

The bar chart demonstrates the outcomes of research on the number of people buying coffee and tea and their drinking habits in 5 Australian areas. Overall, the figure for people who went to a café last month seems to have the highest percentage among 4 cities except Adelaide, whilst the citizens who bought fresh coffee at the same time made up the lowest proportion.of the chart.

Regarding the first three cities, it is cleared that residents who went to a coffee shop in the last 4 weeks remained higher than other figures, reached approximately 62% in Sydney, followed by 64% and around 55% in Melbourne and Brisbane, respectively. The figure for who bought instant coffee appeared to have an upward trend in the order from Sydney to Brisbane, from about 45% to around 53%. The percentage of people buying fresh coffee was relatively low, at just 43% in Sydney then decreased slightly to 42% in Melbourne. However, there was a sharp deceleration to under 35% in Brisbane. Those results show that people were more likely to go out for a drink rather than buying commodities such as instant or fresh coffee in the previous month.

Talking about the other 2 areas which are Adelaide and Hobart, the number of residents who purchased fresh coffee continued to be the lowest figure, just under 40% in both 2 cities. In Adelaide, residents getting instant coffee rose to the first ranked figure at exactly a half and then increased to about 55% in Hobart in the last 4 weeks. The figure for those who went to a café was relatively high, at nearly a half in Adelaide and reached about 63% in Hobart.

Answer 1

Mình nghĩ bạn nên liệt kê thêm tên 5 nước ở phần intro và tách intro với overall thành 2 đoạn riêng biệt.

Cách grouping của bạn khá thông minh, dùng được nhiều cấu trúc như followed by và không thể không nhắc tới cụm từ respectively, linking words rõ ràng, đa dạng. Theo cá nhân mình thì câu cuối của body 1 mang chút hơi hướng ý kiến cá nhân (???). Ở body 2 hai câu cuối bạn lặp "a half" nên có thể đổi 1 câu về 50% là ok !

Chung quy bạn viết khá chắc tay ! Chúc bạn giữ vững phong độ ở các bài viết tiếp theo ! Mình học thêm được khá nhiều cụm từ hay ho cho bài task 1 của mình ! Cảm ơn bạn rất nhiều và nếu bạn có tips hay những cụm từ hay ho thường dùng trong task 1 có thể chia sẻ với mình nhé !