Đề IELTS Writing Task 1 ngày 13-02-2020. Task 1: The bar chart below shows the amount of money invested in each categories from five organizations.

Question

A glance at the graph provided reveals the money funded in various different classifications consist of machinery, building, staff training and research in five institutions.

Overall,Organisation B made the highest investments in all sectors with the highest amount of expenditure on building, whereas fewer investments were made by Group A and C. Organisation D and E’s spending, in contrast , was the least remarkable.

It is evident from the information that spending on machinery in Organisation B was roughly 1.3 billion Euros, which was the highest investment in this sector among the five areas, yet the lowest compared to the other sectors. Organisation A invested remarkably less in this sector with only 0.8 billion Euros, followed by Organisation C (0.7 billion). The two groups with the least funding, meanwhile, were D and E. With regard to Building, Organisation B’s investment was at a record high of 1.7 billion Euros, whereas budgets allotted by the remaining four organisations for this sector were in similar amounts, at around 0.5 billion Euros.

When it comes to Staff Training and Research, Organisation B was still the dominant investor with 1.5 billion and 1.6 billion Euros spent respectively. Organisation A’s expenditures were significantly fewer, with only 1 billion for Staff Training and 0.8 billion for Research. Organisation D and E again allocated the fewest budget, with the figures varying between 0.3 billion and 0.45 billion.

Answer 1

A glance at the graph provided reveals the money funded in various different (dùng 1 trong 2 từ này thôi) classifications consist of consisting of machinery, building, staff training and research in by five different institutions. Overall, Oorganisation B made the highest investments in all sectors with the highest amount of expenditure on building. whereas fewer investments were made by Group A and C. Organisation D and E’s spending, in contrast, was the least remarkable ==> theo mình không cần thiết, bạn nên viết là các tổ chức đều dùng nhiều tiền nhất cho building ngoại trừ A với C. It is also noticeable that all organisations invested the most in building with the exceptions of A and C. (Intro với Overview nên gộp chung bạn nhé)

It is evident from the information that spending on machinery in Organisation B was roughly 1.3 billion Euros, which was the highest investment in this sector among the five areas, yet the lowest compared to the other sectors. Organisation A invested remarkably less in this sector with only 0.8 billion Euros, followed by Organisation C (0.7 billion). The two groups with the least funding, meanwhile, were D and E đưa data vào đây bạn ơi. With regard to Building, Organisation B’s investment was at a record high of 1.7 billion Euros, whereas budgets allotted by the remaining four organisations for this sector were in similar amounts, at around 0.5 billion Euros.

When it comes to Staff Training and Research, Organisation B was still the dominant investor with 1.5 billion and 1.6 billion Euros spent, (phẩy ở đây để cho rõ ràng hơn) respectively. Organisation A’s expenditures were significantly fewer, with only 1 billion for Staff Training and 0.8 billion for Research. Organisation D and E again allocated the fewest budget, with the figures varying between 0.3 billion and 0.45 billion.

Nhận xét của mình:
Phần overview của bạn chưa tốt, nên để ý thêm về xu hướng, đặc điểm chung của các organisation nữa (như mình đã ghi ở trên)
Phần chia đoạn body của bạn tốt, nhưng đọc bài của bạn còn hơi lủng củng theo cảm nhận của mình.

Mình nghĩ bài của bạn tầm 6-7 rồi đấy. Nên chỉnh chu hơn cho phần overview nhé.