The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Question

The line graph represents the number of male and female university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

Overall, the number of female graduates always outnumber their counterpart over the examined period. Besides, both groups almost shared the same trend in some parts of the period.

Specifically, there were nearly 100000 female university graduates in Canada in 1992, while that data for the male group was only above 70000. Then, although there were remarkable rises in the figure of the males' graduation, they had never exceeded the number of female graduates. The difference between 2 groups remained stable at 30000 for most of the period of time.

Moreover, after 1992, both figures rose steadily for about 5000 in 1995, at which point they started to fluctuate little until 2001, when the number of graduates of both sexes remained nearly the same as them in 1995. From 2001, both groups witnessed sharp upward trends, then peaks at nearly 150000 and 95000 in 2007 for males and females, respectively.

 

Answer 1

1. Phần introduction: Bạn nên paraphrase "from 1992 to 2007" là "between 1992 and 2007".

2. Overall:+) Tránh dùng từ "always" 

                 +)  both groups almost shared the same trend in some parts of the period.  Nên nói: "An unpward trend was seen in both groups".

3.Body:+)"there were nearly 100000 female university graduates in Canada in 1992, while that data for the male group was only above 70000" Nên ghi là " while the only above 70000 university graduates was male".

              +)after  -->then 1992, both figures -->  genders rose steadily for about --> by 5000,  in 1995, at which point they started to fluctuate little until 2001, --> , followed by some slight shifts.

Answer 2

Mình xin góp ý một xíu, nếu bạn tham khảo được phần nào thì mình rất mừng. Chúc bạn một ngày tốt lành nha.

Đầu tiên là mình góp ý về màu chữ, nền web màu trắng nên bạn chọn màu chữ đậm chút sẽ dễ nhìn hơn cho người đọc nhé. Mình góp ý từ trên xuống dưới, nhìn chung thì mình thấy bạn viết task 1 khá ổn, cố gắng phát huy nhe:

- Overall, the number of female graduates always outnumber >> chia sai động từ, the number + V số ít nhé

- có thể thay university graduates bằng từ đồng nghĩa để tránh lặp, ví dụ bachelor/alumnus/graduating students...

- Then, although there were remarkable rises in the figure of the males' graduation >> mình nghĩ nên là rise và chia động từ số ít, vì không thấy hay dùng số nhiều cho từ này nhỉ?

- although there were remarkable rises in the figure of the males' graduation, they had never exceeded >> ở đây đang nói về chủ thể "figure of the male's graduation" thì thay thế nó sẽ là it (not they) nhe.

- remained nearly the same as them in 1995 >> the same là được hoặc the same as their figures/their values in 1995, "the same as them" sẽ sai nghĩa nhé.

- From 2001, both groups witnessed sharp upward trends, then peaks at >> bạn tham khảo cấu trúc ngữ pháp song song cho động từ nhé (cùng chia V2).