The disadvantages of large family

Question

Besides the advantages, there were some disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past. First and foremost, when we living in a large family, sometimes there were generation gaps between the elderly and their grandchild. Specifically, the grandparents seemed to be strict when their child used technology too much. For example, the youth were required to search the information on the Internet so they needed to use their smartphones and conflict happened. Secondly, the parents didn’t have time enough to take care of individually children. Explicitly, they had their job and they had to take care not only their job in the office but also their housework. Also time was limited, so they couldn’t do all works clearly. Last but not least, some families were not really good conditions, they would run into some problems with their finance. For example, because of too many members, the breadwinner had to pay much money for their family’s bills as electrical and water bill,..

Answer 1

Besides the advantages, there were some disadvantages to being part of a large family in the past.

Tại sao câu này bạn lại dùng thì quá khứ thế ạ? Mình thấy cả trong quá khứ cả hiện tại đều có những gia đình đa thế hệ như vậy.

First and foremost, when we living in a large family, sometimes there were generation gaps between the elderly and their grandchildren. Specifically, the grandparents seemed to be strict when their (grand)child used technology too much. For example, the youth were required to search the information on the Internet so they needed to use their smartphones and conflict happened. Secondly, the parents didn’t have time enough enough time to take care of individually their children individually. Explicitly, they had their job and they had to take care not only their job in the office but also their housework. Also time was limited, so they couldn’t do all works clearly (Dùng từ chưa được xác). Last but not least, some families were not really in good economic conditions, they would run into some problems with their finance (run into some financial problems). For example, because of too many members, the breadwinner had to pay too much money for their family’s bills as electrical and water bill,..

Cá nhân mình thấy bài này chưa ổn, lập luận chưa được, dùng từ cũng chưa chính xác. Phần diễn đạt vẫn còn lủng củng và cũng có cả lỗi sai ngữ pháp nữa. Mở đoạn không gây ấn tượng và đoạn văn không có kết đoạn ạ. Các ý của bạn cũng chưa hay và dẫn chứng thì không chứng minh được luận điểm ấy.