Bài Toeic writing part 3 - Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? Business should do anything thay can to make a profit
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It is thought by some people that profit is one of the core objectives at which every business aims. To a certain extent, I agree that most companies utilize all their strength and resources into making giant net profits every financial year. However, I also think that we should consider other factors that constitute a successful business. This essay will address the reasons for my view.

On the one hand, I would agree that a business can not thrive through the years without making a certain source of profits. As a matter of fact, we need financial resources to operate the company since there are a number of problems emerging every day. Furthermore, we are unable to develop our services or products without considerably important support of profits. In a day and age when customer’s needs are increasingly changing, businesses should make the best use of profits to keep up with those integral changes. Besides, profits are also extremely pivotal to resolving payment for employees and other debts otherwise the company is likely to declare bankruptcy or dissolution.

On the other hand, I also think that a business should not neglect other factors that warrant a properly running system. I declare that we should prioritize work ethics over other profits. For example, it goes against the rule that some companies use cheap materials of poor quality to formulate detrimental products. This not only affects seriously the customers' health but also ruins the credibility of the enterprise. It is even worse that some companies have been reported violating the Labor Code by forcing employees to work overtime with hardly any bonus. They are threatened to get dismissed if they do not abide by the enterprise’s unacceptable rules to increase the sales revenue.

In conclusion, while I agree that every business should focus on making profits, I do not believe that they can sacrifice everything for profits even if they go against the work ethics and labor code.

Mọi người sửa giúp em bài toeic writing này với ạ, em cảm ơn mn nhiều lắm ( mọi người vận dụng kiến thức ielts sửa cũng được  ạ, nếu được cho em biết thử bài này em được cỡ bao nhiêu chấm trong ielts mà bao nhiêu trong toeic ạ , em cảm ơn mn nhiều ) 

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It is thought by some people that profit is one of the core objectives at which every business aims. To a certain extent, I agree that most companies utilize all their strength and resources into making giant net profits every financial year. However, I also think that we should consider other factors that constitute a successful business. This essay will address the reasons for my view.

On the one hand, I would agree that a business can not --> cannot thrive through the years without making a certain source of profits. As a matter of fact, we need financial resources to operate the company since there are a number of problems emerging every day. Furthermore, we are unable to develop our services or products without considerably important support of profits. In a day and age when customer’s needs are increasingly changing, businesses should make the best use of profits to keep up with those integral changes. Besides, profits are also extremely pivotal to resolving --> resolve payment for employees and other debts otherwise the company is likely to declare bankruptcy or dissolution.

On the other hand, I also think that a business should not neglect other factors that warrant a properly running system. I declare that we should prioritize work ethics over other profits. For example, it goes against the rule that some companies use cheap materials of poor quality to formulate  --> produce detrimental products. This not only affects seriously the customers' health but also ruins the credibility of the enterprise. It is even worse that some companies have been reported violating the Labor Code by forcing employees to work overtime with hardly any bonus. They are threatened to get --> be dismissed if they do not abide by the enterprise’s unacceptable rules to increase the sales revenue.

In conclusion, while I agree that every business should focus on making profits, I do not believe that they can sacrifice everything for profits even if they go against the work ethics and labor code.

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