IELTS writing tast 1 - test 2 - cam 8

Question

The pie charts compares a specific UK school in term of 5 different categories of annual spending in three years 1981, 1991 and 2001

Overall, the proprotion of expenses for each of the five categories changed significantly in the period of 10 years from 1981 to 2001, While the figures for insurance, teacher 's salaries and furniture and equipment increased, the figures for the other two categories fell

The proportion of ensurance increased continously after 30 years, in 1981 was 2%, but this rose to 3% and the 8% in 2001. The percentage for teacher's salaries also went up by 10% from the 1981 figure of 40%, and then decreased by 5% in 2001. The figure for furniture and equipment varied more significantly than teacher's salaries. It dropped to 5% from 1981 to 1991 before rose substaintially to 23% in 2001

By contract, the salary paid for other workers accounted for more than a quarter in 1981, followed by a decline with 13% in 2001. Resources e.g book decreased by 6% in the period of 30 years from 15% to 9% in 2001

Answer 1

Mình góp ý cho bạn như sau nhé:

The pie charts (compares)->compare a specific UK school in term of 5 different categories of annual spending in three years 1981, 1991 and 2001.

*Mở bài theo ý mình nhé: The given pie charts compare a specific UK school’s annual spending of 5 different categories in 1981,1991 and 2001. (mở bài của bạn không sai nhưng cách dùng từ với cấu trúc câu của bạn mình nghĩ hơi dài dòng và khó đọc)

Overall, the proportion of expenses for each of the five categories changed significantly in the period of 10 years from 1981 to 2001. While the figures for insurance, teacher's salaries and furniture and equipment increased, the figures for the other two categories fell. (bạn nên thêm nhiều hơn nữa trạng từ diễn tả tính chất sự thay đổi nha)

The proportion of insurance increased continuously after 30 years. (, in 1981 was 2%, but this rose to 3% and 8% in 2001)->Starting from 2% in 1981, the figure soared up to 3% in 1991 and 8% in 2001. The percentage (for)->of teacher's salaries also went up by 10% from (the 1981 figure of 40%)->40% in 1981, and then decreased by 5% in 2001. The figure (for)->of furniture and equipment varied more significantly than teacher's salaries, (It)->which dropped to 5% (bạn nên ghi rõ là dropped từ bao nhiêu đến 5%) from 1981 to 1991 before rose substantially to 23% in 2001.

(By contract)->To contrast, the salary paid for other workers accounted for more than a quarter in 1981, followed by a decline (with)->of 13% in 2001. Resources such as book decreased by 6% in the period of (30 years: ủa từ năm 1981 đến 2001 thì tổng thời gian chỉ có 20 năm mà nhỉ :> ) (from 15% to 9%: đã nói giảm 6% thì không cần phải đề cập lại) (in 2001: hơi thừa)

 

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