These days, More and more people fall in love with traveling, and nowadays tourism places have appeared more than in the past. Different people have different aims when travelling, so most of them have and choose various ways to travel, but I think traveling with companions is much better.
The majority prefer to travel with their group instead of traveling alone, because it will be cheaper and they can have more memories with friends. Maybe some memories are bad, but they are still worth it. Traveling alone will be a risky choice, any situation can happen, so if you go with your friends, they can assist you as possible as they can. Besides that, they will push you to do something which you have never done before.
(This whole paragraph is not relevant to the opinion that you express in the opening) Furthermore, travelling alone is not really bad. Some people choose it because they feel too depressed with social life, they lost ways or just simply that they want to go by themselves. This will be extremely different to go without friends, they can do anything with other opinions which will disturb their mood and never get troubles with their colleagues.
In a nutshell, traveling with companions or alone may has some different advantages its own pros and cons , it depends on you. Everybody should try both in our life to find out which is suitable for us.
Some of my comments:
- You have implemented some relatively clear and reasonable ideas. However, your ideas may not be very shark. And your third paragraph is not supporting for your opinion.
- you are still making some mistakes in grammar and using words.
- You should learn more collocations to include in your essay, this can help you improve your band score as well as express your opinion more clearly.
- You can try using conjunctions to make more compound sentences.
Overall, you have tried a lot, hope my comments can help you!