IELTS writing task 2, ai sửa giúp mình với cảm ơn nhiều ạ

Question

Đề; In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area.What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?
Until recentlhy, more and more  people remove from small villages where they were born to economical cities. Personally. I think there were a part of advantages and  disadvantages of staying in a small neighborhood.

Based on my knowledge, there were positive things when living in a small community. Firstly, people may know each other well so they could have a great relationship, hence, every inhabitants could get help from others. For instance, learn how to repair machines, house or grow garden,.. Secondly, the life was far more safe than large cities because there were low crime rates and no traffic jams. Thirdly, the living cost was low and the economy was self-sufficient. Thus, it was easy to live

However, in my view, there were lots of disadvantages when living in small community. First, the shortage of servies like schools and hospitals was a bad thing. As a consequence, the education here is far worse than cities where provided qualified teachers and facilities. Moreoever, because of the bad living standard, there exist a lot of dangerous diseases like cholera, illnesses and even cancer. Second, there were not enough jobs, hence young people who are really ambitious have to move to big cities to find for suitable occupants. Because of the lack of jobs, there was low incomes so people living in  small community do not have a good standard as cities inhabitants.

In conclusion, there was advantages of living a small community but I appreciate living in cities more as well as because of its benefits.

Answer 1

 mở bài không giống với đề opinion, mà nhìn câu hỏi cũng không giống câu hỏi của đề opinion