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It is true that in recent years, people are being increased average weight and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing due to busy works. In my opinion, I think they should pay more attention about their health and must have several solutions to deal with.

There are few reasons that almost everyone don't do physical exercises on a daily basis. Maybe they don't have too much time to tackle their big amount of workloads or not rearrange their working schedule. But some people have enough time to do some outdoor activities but they don't really want to do because they are lazy or they familiar with sedentary lifestyle, they just keep watching television, sleeping all day or they don't really know about the consequences if they don't do some physical activities.

Every problems will have its own solutions. People can cope with this problem by following some useful instructions about doing fitness. They should go to Internet and read some articles about what happen if they neglect physical exercises and how it influence to their body. They can do exercises by going to swimming pool, doing jogging at the stadium or go to the gym if their have enough expenses and conditions. Or even they can buy some facilities that help them to do fitness, and also they can watch some Youtube videos about variety of exercises and just keep following directions.

To sum up, everybody in modern society have a busy life and keep their body healthy is a very hard activities to do because of big amount of workloads. But people should concern and balance between their work and their health in the future.

Theo bạn, bài viết này được bao nhiêu "chấm" ?
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It is true that in recent years, people are being increased people's average weight tends to increase and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing due to busy works work. In my opinion, I think (dùng 1 trong 2) they should pay more attention about their health and must have several solutions to deal with the problem relating to health.

There are few a few/ many ..... reasons that almost everyone don't (informal) do physical exercises on a daily basis. Maybe they don't (informal) have too much time to tackle their big amount of enormous workloads or not rearrange their working schedule. But (informal) However, some people have enough time to do some outdoor activities but they don't (informal) really want to do because they are lazy or they familiar with sedentary lifestyle, they just keep watching television, sleeping all day or they don't (informal) really know about the consequences if they don't do some physical activities.

Every problems problem will have its own solutions. People can cope with this problem by following some useful instructions about doing fitness. They should go to the Internet and read some articles about what happen happens/ will happen if they neglect physical exercises and how it influence influences to their body. They can do exercises by going to swimming pool, doing jogging at the stadium or go going to the gym if their have enough expenses and conditions. Or even (informal) Besides, they can buy some facilities that help them to do fitness, and also they can or watch some Youtube videos about variety of exercises and just keep following directions.

To sum up, everybody in modern society have has a busy life and keep keeping their body healthy is a very hard activities activity to do because of big amount of workloads a heavy workload. But (informal) However, people should concern and balance between their work and their health in the future.

 

Nhìn chung essay của bạn đã đáp ứng được nội dung đề bài yêu cầu, ý tưởng cũng ổn nhưng cách diễn đạt của bạn có vấn đề.

- Sử dụng maọ từ, danh từ đếm được/ không đếm được sai nhiều

- Ngôn ngữ informal rất nhiều vì bạn viết tắt, hoặc bạn dùng "but" ở đầu câu cũng là informal vì cái này có thể chỉ được chấp nhận khi bạn nói

- Ngữ pháp cũng chưa phong phú, chú ý dùng nhiều cấu trúc hơn, hoặc dùng các từ nối để tạo thành câu dài hơn

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