Average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

Question

The aged population has indeed become a serious issue for many industrialized countries around the world. Since there will exert several harmful effects on the lives of individuals and societies, The government needs to take steps to mitigate these potential problems.
  Based on the current situation, the community has to face up to two primary problems. First, It will put a heavy burden on youngsters. Because of their age, Old people no longer pay tax while claiming pension benefits from the government. Due to this, Youngsters, in addition to being responsible for taking care of them, they have to work harder to make up for the lost money of the state. Moreover, from the social viewpoint, This would make a lack of workers in the working ages. The more increasing average life expectancy is, the more decreasing fertility rates are. Because of the absence of young workforces, the economy can’t develop at a fast pace especially in this technology-driven ward.
   Since such issues are serious, the government should take steps immediately to address these problems. First, the immigration of young people of working age should be encouraged. For example, in Japan, they ease immigration rules for workers. Therefore, they can immediate expansion of the workforce and have the world's leading developed economy. Furthermore, the government should also increase the retirement age. Thanks to medical technologies, many elderly people having good health condition can go back to work. This would benefit from the expertise and experience of the old and reduce the burden on government spending.
  In conclusion, although the increase in life expectancy has many detrimental impacts on individuals as well as society, governments already have been eligible to deal with these potential problems

Answer 1

góp ý chút là câu First, It will put a heavy nên dùng Firstly và dùng thêm secondly,thirdly,.. finally sau đó

Due to this, Youngsters, in addition to being responsible for taking care of them, they have to work harder to make up for the lost money of the state câu này đang có 2 linking và chủ ngữ v-ing nên để vế sau