In this day and age, it is a fact that most of the students have a tendency to go abroad across the world .This trend would creat has its own pros and cons.From my point of view,the benefits of choosing the way of studying abroad does outweigh the drawbacks.
On the one hand, there are myriads of barriers when living in a foreign country that they certainly have to experience by themselves.It There is a clear evidence that living far away from their family and beloved ones can be big challenging a big challenge to them. Since at the first time At the beginning,they perhaps suffer from the feeling of homesick and missing their family a lot. And due to this As a result, there are some students even drop out of school halfway. Furthermore,they have to take matters into their own hand from finding accomodation or paying bills to overcome some difficulties when encountering such as going through culture shock or language obstacles.These did enable their spirit to be affected much especially without family standing by them.
On the other hand, apart from some drawbacks, it has tons of different benefits when following the path to study abroad.The first reason is that Firstly, they can make friends with some people and enhance their relationships in some that foreign country . Therefore, They can broaden their horizions and enrich their knowlege when they have chances to be exposured to foreigners ,Like for instance, they may be able to gain have a keen understanding of unique cultures and customs in that nation. Otherwise, they would have an opportunity to enjoy the ambience there since its vibe may be have a little bit differences compared to their country.Moreover,you know,the best universities in foreign countries often employ lecturers who are expert in their field to teach students.In addition to that, qualifications gained from abroad can open doors to them so as to have better job opportunities in the future. Besides, putting the prescious knowledge obtained from going studying abroad into practice make them climb up the career ladder and get well-paid job alike.
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In conclusion, Although it still exists Despite some drawbacks for overseas students, we can not deny the valuable things which studying abroad brings to students .And it seems to me to me it seems that the advantages would be more outweigh disadvantages and it is a good choice to study in college or university in a foreign country.
Some of my comments:
- You have implemented some relatively clear and reasonable ideas, but you should group your ideas into concise sentences.
- However, you are still making some mistakes in grammar and using words.
- You should learn more collocations to include in your essay, this can help you improve your band score as well as express your opinion more clearly.
- Remember not to use words like "you know" because this is not appropriate in an essay writing
- The conclusion should not be too long, you just need to summarize briefly your body.
- You can try using conjunctions to make more compound sentences.
Overall, you have done well, hope my comments can help you!