Some students choose to study in another country for a time during high school or university. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad?

Question

In the era of new technology and the development of artificial intelligence, it requires people to have deeper knowledge and have more qualifications. Therefore, many students choose to study abroad for tertiary education, which has both pros and cons.

To begin with, studying abroad has many advantages. First, it equips students with better knowledge because the overseas education system has much better quality as well as more modern facilities. Second, graduates from abroad universities are more likely to be employed by huge firms with higher wage for the qualifications they have achieved, which the employer prefer to the qualifications from the domestic high schools or universities. Third, the students would be equipped with a multicultural mindset during the time they study at the university because of the diversity of races in the universities.

Besides, this tendency of studying also has drawbacks. Students' nationality such as the countries from Asia like Vietnam, India or China can engender racial discrimination, which then could lead to bullying, Moreover, the tuition fee in foreign universities is exorbitant, which, as a result, places a financial burden on their parents. 

In a nutshell, although studying abroad has both ups and downs, the advantages seem to surpass the other.

Answer 1

Đầu tiên mình thấy bạn chưa cân đối được giữa 2 đoạn văn về lợi ích và  tác hại. Có thể bổ xung ý cultural shock cho phần tác hại. 

for the qualifications they have achieved => for the qualifications achieved. 

Lặp cấu trúc với which. 2 câu mở đầu 2 đoạn lặp cấu trúc. 

Phần kết bài chưa tốt ( thường có 2 câu). In a nutshell thường dùng cho speaking. 

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