Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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In this technological era, with the support of handy gadgets, citizens tend to get confused easily with the range of choice offered. Children have no exception with the dilemma of whether to choose reading stories or watching tv and playing computer games to learn from. From my perspectives, television and computer games would prevail over reading stories for its perks. 

   First of all, modern devices convey fundamental skills more efficiently. Generally, vivid graphics and textures aid the kids in absorbing the practices and concurrently relieve them from the pressures of studying. Furthermore, online games requires collaboration with their friends and division of tasks as well as coordination to beat certain levels, so from which, they can learn to delegate, team-work, and prioritize. 

   Secondly, playing games is a good way to cultivate one’s creativity and brain functions. Specifically, the process of puzzling out the answer in puzzle games involves extreme brain activity such as multitasking, reasoning, which eventually exercise their minds. In combat game, in order to be the champion, it is utmost imperative that one sharpens his senses and thinkings, which serves the same purposes of brain stimulating. 

   However trendy and beneficial this movement is, the supervisors of the child stands heavy prejudice over technological use as its addictiveness and the sedentary lifestyle it results in could spoil the child. Yet, this vision is totally obsolete and overlooks the role of education. Such headaches only stem from the lack of determined guidances and ignorances, meaning that the young utilize this sources profitably and still manage his health with proper educational schemes other than boring and systematic stories. 

   By and large, TV and computer games is a potential tool of educations in collaboration with eligible coaching and controlling methods. On my outlooks, it is plausible for schools and courses implement such form

 
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2 Answers

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Điểm cộng: bố cục các phần hợp lí đồng đều, bạn khai triển được ý và không bị lệch đề nhiều ,bạn có sự linh hoạt trong việc thay đổi từ.

Điểm tham khảo thêm: nên sử dụng thêm những cấu trúc ngữ pháp hay từ các bài band cao hơn để khi khai triển ý gọn gàng nhưng vẫn súc tích . Bạn nên coa sự so sánh giữ đọc sách và coi TV để thấy rõ hơn ý kiến của mình.

Điểm số: 6,0-6,5
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tớ thấy ý tưởng bài bài khá ổn. nhưng tớ góp ý thêm bạn nên sử dụng thêm các câu, hoặc ss để bày tỏ ý kiến của mình nhé ạ
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