Bài IELTS Task 2

Question

Task 2: Should young children be allowed to use mobile phone?

I absolutely disagree with this opinion. First of all, in my point of view, children should completely focus on their study, because this is the best period of time they can gain more knowledge to prepare for their own future. Their brain is available to store things easier than the older ones as well. If they use mobile phone too early, they might suffer with brain development because of the rays from the phones. Secondly, children could be affected by the bad content of some information from social networking sites; such as sex or violence clips. Finally, their using phones will make them become too dependent. Their parents leave them with just a smart phone and do their work; but haven’t noticed that this will spoil their child in many negative side. The child not only depends much on mobile phones, he/ she is also becoming more and more unsociable; and the result is that he/ she doesn’t even have a friend, or be bullied at school. From my own experience with my younger sister and brother, I think every older person in a family should be responsible for their children, siblings and grandkids. They had better create some more outdoor activities with children, have fun with them, and help them overcome difficulties at school or their studying by listening to their expression more often. Don’t ignore them in any case, and don’t leave them alone with an imaginary world in a phone; and teach them some more interesting things when having times. Help our children the sooner the better to make them a good child.

Answer 1

Don’t ignore them in any CASES, and don’t leave them alone with an imaginary world in a phone; and teach them some more interesting things when having times

Answer 2

Theo mình, đây là những lỗi sai của bạn:

- Không follow theo dàn bài của một bài essay.Bạn nên tìm hiểu lại nhé

- Không tách đoạn

- Bị lặp từ

- Từ ngữ không phong phú

Ưu điểm:

- Ý tưởng tốt, rõ ràng

Score: 5