2,285 views
0 votes
0 votes

Giúp mình xem các cụm từ, các câu trong bài xem có tự nhiên, hay không hay là chuyển sang câu khác, hay triển khai bài theo ý khác hay hơn! Mong giúp đỡ ạ!

These days, the Internet plays an important role in our life. It brings many advantages to us in many fields. In education, It gives students a chance to access to the Internet to find study materials, not only to serve for completing homework, assignments but also to qualify standard and advance students' understanding level when searching to extend their lessons. It helps them reach for an effective learning method easily- self-studying with the Internet that saves time to learn online instead of going to the centers, extra classes, money to buy books. In communication, through Internet, people around the world can make friends together, share information, chat, helps raise our relationship to a high level with many tools like Facebook, Zalo, that are organized under Internet. Moreover, we can have meetings, online conversation to talk to others, especially in the far distance. In the economy, investors and businessmen can, update, advertise their companies' products in public and follow their quality, income, feedbacks from customers. Furthermore, customers can buy and pay money on the Internet with a credit card. It also helps develop the individual economy and national economy. Also, the Internet brings us opportunities to entertaining with a huge library of films, games, e-books. In short, the Internet itself is an irreplaceable tool, a creational invention in human's life.

by
0 points

Please log in or register to answer this question.

2 Answers

2 votes
2 votes

These days and agesit is undeniable that the Internet plays a vital/ imperative/crucial (các từ này dùng thay cho important rất hay nhé) role in every aspects of our modern lifeIt brings many advantages to us in many fieldsFirst of allin terms of (cụm này có nghĩa là xét về mặt/về khía cạnh nào đó) education, It The Internet gives students a golden chance to access to the Internet to find a myriad of/ a wide variety of study materials, which not only to serves for completing homework, assignments but also to qualify standard and advances/enhances students' understanding level when searching to extend before their lessons. For instance/For example (Ví dụ như là), it helps provides them reach for with an effective learning method easily  - self-studying with the Internet that because it saves their time to learning online instead of going to the centers or extra classes, money to buy booksSeondly, in terms of communication, through the Internet, people around the world can easily make friends together, share information, chat, helps or even raise our relationship to a higher level with many by lots of tools social medias like such as Facebook, Zalo and Gmail.  that are organized under Internet. Moreover, we can also have meetings, online conversation to talk to others, especially in the far distance. Last but not least,(cuối cùng nhưng cũng k kém phần quan trọng) ,in terms of the economy, investors and businessmen can update, advertise their companies' products in public and as well as follow improve their quality, income,(từ này là thu nhập của một người nhá, ở đây nên dùng là profits vì là lợi nhuận của công ty cơ mà) by receiving feedbacks from customers. Furthermore, only by using a credit card, can customers buy and pay money on the Internet go shopping online and pay the money easilywith a credit card. It The Internet also helps develop both the individual economy and national economy. Also, the Internet brings us opportunities to entertaining with a huge library of films, games, e-books (Cái câu này đâu có thuộc phạm trù economy đâu nhỉ???? Bạn có thể cho ý này vào phần communication, còn nếu không thì bỏ hẳn đi nhé, không cần tham quá đâu hihi) . In short, the Internet itself is an irreplaceable tool, a creational invention in human's life. (Câu kết cũng nên chú ý sao cho tóm gọn lại được outline bài mình đã viết, ở đây mình suggest viết câu kết như sau: In conclusion, the invention of the Internet has brought about numerous benefits for human life in many aspects, ranging from education, economy to our daily communication as the reasons I mentioned above.)

  • Tổng kết: Ideas của bạn nhìn chung khá okela, đã có ý tưởng và viết khá ổn. Tuy nhiên cấu trúc còn chưa đa dạng và từ vựng khá hạn chế, chỉ xoay quanh mức bình thường. Bạn cũng cần đôi chỗ xem lại ngữ pháp nhé, chưa vững tay lắm đâu.
  • Một lời khuyên cho bạn là đọc nhiều bài mẫu vào, và như mình đã chữa ở trên, hãy take notes, take notes và take notes, ghi lại mọi thứ bạn học được nhé, có rất nhiều cụm hay mà bạn có thể áp dụng được nhiều bài khác nữa đấy. Nhớ là khi được chữa bài, hay viết lại 1 2 lần rồi có thể đưa cho giáo viên bộ môn xem lại để bổ sung nữa nè. Viết là kĩ năng khó nhưng luyện nhiều sẽ tốt hơn mà. Cố lên nhé, great things take time =))))
 

 

by
9 points
0 votes
0 votes

These days, the Internet plays an important role in our life. It brings many advantages to us in many fields. In education,(theo mình cái này không cần) It gives students a chance to access to the Internet "It" ở đây là "the Internet" rồi thì không thể cho học sinh cơ hội để "access the Internet" được nữa. to find study materials, not only to serve for completing homework, assignments but also to qualify standard and advance students' understanding level when searching to extend their lessons. It helps them reach for an effective learning method easily- sao lại có dấu gạch ngang nhỉ? chỗ này chấm hết câu rồi sang câu mới thôi. Self-studying with the Internet that not only saves time by allowing students  to learn online instead of going to the centers or extra classes, but also money for books. In term of communication, through Internet, people around the world can make friends together, share information, chat, helps raise our relationship to a high level with many tools like Facebook, Zalo, that are organized under Internet. Moreover, we can have meetings, online conversation to talk to others, especially in the far distance. In the economy, investors and businessmen can, update, advertise their companies' products in public and follow their quality, income, feedbacks from customers. Furthermore, customers can buy and pay money on the Internet with a credit card. It also helps develop the individual economy and national economy. Also, the Internet brings us opportunities to entertaining with a huge library of films, games, e-books. In short, the Internet itself is an irreplaceable tool, a creational invention in human's life.

by
16 points

Related questions

0 votes
0 votes
1 answer
thaony1121 asked Oct 2, 2019
thaony1121 asked Oct 2, 2019
by thaony1121
0 points
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer
0 votes
0 votes
1 answer