electricity production in france by source

Question

Given is the line graph demonstrating electricity which was generated by four source different namely Thermal, Nuclear, Hydroelectric and Renewables in France from 1980 to 2010

 

It is clear that while there was a upward trend in producting electricity by Nuclear and Renewables, the opposite was true for Hydroelectric and Thermal. It is also notable that producing by Nuclear was the most significant increase during almost of given timescale

 

As can be seen from the graph, the amount of power produced by Nuclear was 70 in terawarr hours, as opposed to the negligible amount of production. Over the following three decedes, the year 2005 expericenced a dramatical increase of 360 twh in Nuclear electricity before falling down to over 400 in 2010. At the same time, Renewables generating stayed stable until 1995, but later went up slightly to 25 twh in the last year

 

Looking at the other source, Thermal was the most creating source in France in 1980, with roughly 120 twh, in comparison with Hydroelectric only 70 twh. Over the next years, both Thermal and Hyroelectric saw a gradual fluctuation, and then ending at approximately 50 twh

 

Answer 1

Introduction: Nên viết mở bài đơn giản, nhấn mạnh hẳn vào cái nội dung mà cái line graph nêu (đưa line graph lên đầu làm chủ ngữ)
four source different -> four different sources

Overview: It is also notable that producing the production by Nuclear was the most significant increase during almost of given timescale (thay cho việc lặp từ, mà chỉ để producing ở kia thì chưa rõ)
 

Body:
was 70 in terawarr hours
Looking at the other source(s)

Thermal was the most creating source that generated the greatest amount of electricity

in comparison with Hydroelectric, with only 70 twh
 

Hyroelectric saw  gradual minor fluctuations (fluctuation không đi cùng với gradual, cần xem lại định nghĩa về fluctuation, còn gradual để chỉ sử thay đổi dần dần, nhưng fluctuation trong bài thì không phải, chỉ là sự thay đổi mạnh, nhẹ, hoặc fluctuation có thể theo chu kì chứ không dần dần)

Nên thay produce -> generate

Có thể dùng cụm electricity generation thay cho production

Bản thân từ the production of electricity ..., hoặc the electricity production đã bao hàm từ amount thì nếu dùng trong bài hoàn toàn có thể dùng mà không phải dùng từ amount.