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In many countries children are engaged in some kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

 

Family and education are still the debated problem on a regular basis which involving in a great deal of children when they support their family by searching for a part time jobs and reduce their studying cost. Indeed, there are some people argue that it will be entirely wrong if youngsters employ themselves in some kind of jobs with average salary but others assumed that it is proper experience for fulfilling their dream and ambition. There are some reasons which is outlined in this essay below.

First of all, the freelance work is supposed that being wrong for children and most of parents disagree this. Maybe, children are the same as tiny sand in the extensive desert to aware of the consequence of these works and they are lead to be impinging on available traps as there are not any contracts between bosses and staffs which can be known as bond condition of children give up the job. Furthermore, the casual job can cause to illegal status as criminal issues and being difficult to escape. When children have been in control of obligation and not refuse, those jobs will put children's career road in danger and leave their stigma in the eyes of society. From this, youngsters have a disappointed sensation, even they can meditate to suicide, one of death account for most of proportion nowadays.

In the other hand, with one freelance work that some parents usually desire to their sons can seek their own successful pathway when children must not undergo in earing income but parent's purposes that create opportunities for children to access to practical application in the 4.0 era. To interpret for this acceptance, youngsters will realize which should and should not deal with and have to struggle or compete with other predators to selected in optimum environments where supply a large number of numerous knowledge until they can make use it. Therefore, they will recognize the value of materials when their parents must to make day – to – day. Additionally, the casual job is also give a chance for young teenagers establish the relationship, improving interpersonal and so on. For example, some children have been not only overcome the challenge during working for a long time to absorb more intelligent and mercurial than the same ages, but also take responsibility for their ambitions.

In conclusion, each person always has their own opinions and they just would like to ensure their children safety and growth strongly. In my viewpoint, I think that children want to get casual jobs then depended on their family and each situation they cope with to choose the better direction.

 

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1. You wrote: ...egular basis which involving in a great deal of children when they support their fam...

Suggestion: a great number of children

3. You wrote: ...posed that being wrong for children and most of parents disagree this. Maybe, children are the ...

 

Suggestion: most of the parents, most parents

5. You wrote: ...consequence of these works and they are lead to be impinging on available traps as t...

 

Suggestion: they are leaded

7. You wrote: ...ggle or compete with other predators to selected in optimum environments where supply a ...

Error type: Infinitive error

Suggestion: predators to select, predators to have selected

 

8. You wrote: ...ed in optimum environments where supply a large number of numerous knowledge until they can make ...

Feedback: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"

Error type: Redundant Phrases

Suggestion: many, numerous

 

9. You wrote: ...ronments where supply a large number of numerous knowledge until they can make use it. Therefore, ...

Feedback: There is an agreement error here. The noun knowledge seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much knowledge", "a good deal of knowledge".

Error type: Adverb Word order

Suggestion: much knowledge, a good deal of knowledge

 

10. You wrote: ...gnize the value of materials when their parents must to make day – to – day. Additionally, the casua...

Suggestion: must, have to

 

11. You wrote: ...y. Additionally, the casual job is also give a chance for young teenagers establish ...

Suggestion: given

 

12. You wrote: ... not only overcome the challenge during working for a long time to absorb more intellig...

Suggestion: during a working, during workings, during works

14. You wrote: ...amily and each situation they cope with to choose the better direction.

Suggestion: cope with choosing

 

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